Musings of the Chronologically Challenged™ Fourth Generation

 
THINKERS ANONYMOUS

It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then to loosen up. Inevitably though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker. I began to think alone - "to relax," I told myself - but I knew it wasn't true.

Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was thinking all the time. I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't mix, but I couldn't stop myself.

I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau and Kafka. I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it exactly we are doing here?"

Things weren't going so great at home either. One evening I had turned off the TV and asked my husband about the meaning of life. He spent that night at his mother's.

I soon had a reputation as a heavy thinker. One day the boss called me in. He said, "Skippy, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If you don't stop thinking on the job, you'll have to find another job."

This gave me a lot to think about. I came home early after my conversation with the boss. "Honey," I confessed, "I've been thinking..."

"I know you've been thinking," he said, "and I want a divorce!"

"But Honey, surely it's not that serious."

"It is serious," he said, lower lip aquiver. "You think as much as college professors, and college professors don't make any money, so if you keep on thinking we won't have any money!"

"That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently, and he began to cry.

I'd had enough. "I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped out the door.

I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche, with NPR on the radio. I roared into the parking lot and ran up to the big glass doors...they didn't open. The library was closed. To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that night.

As I sank to the ground clawing at the unfeeling glass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye. "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" it asked. You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinker's Anonymous poster. Which is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker.

I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a non-educational video; last week it was "Porky's." Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last meeting. I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home.

Life just seemed... easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking.

Soon, I will be able to vote Republican.

[Tee-hee to Tom, Salt Lake City]



>^..^< PUSSYFOOTIN'™

>^..^< SK Bubba has a solution to the unreliability problem with voting machines: "This November, every single voter in every precinct in every state should request a write-in ballot. Even if you are going to vote for George W. Bush you should get a write-in ballot and mark it down on paper. Every voter should simply refuse to use electronic voting machines that do not provide an audit trail. Instead, make sure your vote is recorded on paper and make sure they have to count them. All. By hand. Demand accountability." Sounds fair to me -- but very familiar. Wasn't that system used before and replaced by "progressive" modern widgets?

>^..^< Segueing nicely into Everything Old Is New Again.....

>^..^< A rerun I missed the first time around: "Somehow, the fact that democracy is a messy business is also it's strength. I don't understand it and sometimes it's really annoying, but it has worked pretty well for our nation and it works for other nations."

>^..^< "Veterans are veterans." A good read.

>^..^< Serenity thinks she's "broken." Go over and try to help fix her.

>^..^< Did the VLWC try to invalidate my vote? You decide.

>^..^< Eric explains the difference between "our troops" and "our neighbors" - spot on. Read Deployment.

>^..^< Jennifer Martinez has a feature article from which I'd really like to copy and paste. But I can't make it work from her page. PLEASE go here and read "What Is a Warrior?" from Monday, March 1.


QUOTABLES -- Steven Wright

.*****Join the Army; meet interesting people; kill them.

*****If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

*****Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

*****Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!

*****Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?

*****I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

*****Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?.







posted by HCL at 8:23 AM