Indigo Insights |
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Musings of the Chronologically Challenged™ Fourth Generation 
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Thursday, May 26, 2005
CLEAN UP DAY Tossing stuff out - in no particular order Nominated as the best short joke of the year : A three-year-old little boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath. "Mommy ," he asked, "Are these my brains?" Mother answered, "Not yet, dear." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do men's hearts beat faster, they go weak in the knees, get dry throats and think irrationally when a woman wears leather clothing? BECAUSE SHE SMELLS LIKE A NEW TRUCK !!! She who hesitates has lost! ------------------------------------------------------- According to Snopes --------------------------------------------------------- Attention Lucy: This is amazing! --------------------------------------------------------------------------- THINGS THAT HALLMARK CARDS DON'T SAY //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// My tire was thumping. I thought it was flat When I looked at the tire... I noticed your cat. Sorry! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Heard your wife left you, How upset you must be. But don't fret about it... She moved in with me. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder... "What the hell was I thinking?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your husband. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ How could two people as beautiful as you Have such an ugly baby? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After having met you .. I've changed my mind. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ I must admit, you brought Religion into my life. I never believed in Hell until I met you. /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am... That you're not here to ruin it for me. #################################################### Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go... Would you like to take this knife out of my back? You'll probably need it again. *************************************************** Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad! (Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky & West Virginia) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Happy Birthday! You look great for your age. Almost Lifelike! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ When we were together, you always said you'd die for me. Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise. ////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// We have been friends for a very long time .. Let's say we stop? +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ I'm so miserable without you it's almost like you're here. ===================================================== Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. Did you ever find out who the father was? %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday. So we're having you put to sleep. )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) So your daughter's a hooker, and it spoiled your day. Look at the bright side, it's really good pay. $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ADMIRABLE ADMIRAL A U.S. Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included admirals from the U.S., English, Canadian, Australian and French Navies. At a reception, he found himself standing with a group of half dozen or so officers that included personnel from most of the countries. Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks, but a French admiral suddenly complained that whereas Europeans learn many languages, Americans learn only English. He then asked: "Why is it that we always have to speak English in these conferences rather than speaking French?" Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied: "Maybe it's because the Brits, Canadians, Aussies and Americans arranged it so you wouldn't have to speak German." Suddenly the group became very quiet... --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- SOMEONE BLESS AMERICA Someone or something powerful bless America, Land that I, along with many people of other wonderful races, love. Stand (or sit if handicapped) beside her, him, or it, and guide her, him, or it Thru the night with a light from not necessarily above. From the mountains, to the prairies, To the oceans, white or another color - maybe even rainbow - with foam. Someone or something powerful bless America, My home sweet (but sugar-free) home. |