Musings of the Chronologically Challenged™ Fourth Generation
Monday, May 16, 2005
It seems weekends have evolved into blog-reading-catch-up time for me. There's time to go through my blogroll to see what I missed that some of my favorites wrote during the week. What amazes me is that they are so thorough in their own individual blog-reading. Where do they find the time to do all that reading and still be prolific posters?
Television is not my friend. I can't even name the tv shows that have stayed on for years (known as "hits") and then go off without me ever seeing one single episode. If History Channel or National Geographic have nothing new or worth watching again, I spend my evenings surfing the net for thought-provoking material. Books are not an option now due to the cataract, and I truly think I'd die of boredom without the internet and my puter-pals.
So even though it's not Thanksgiving, I'm using this post to give a resounding "thank you" to all the interesting people and faithful writers to whom I owe a debt of gratitude. Death by ennui is not a pleasant prospect, and you have saved me over and over again. Your personal emails and telephone calls are the icing on the cake and I especially thank you for them. You know who you are. You're my special puter-pals and one or more of you make my day every single day.
Just wanted to say that. So there.
from Kirsten, Greenville, NC
TO GOD FROM THE DOG
Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?
Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?
Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the "Chrysler Beagle"?
Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?
Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember - to be a good dog.
1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
3. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.. neither are Mom and Dad's laps.
4. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
5. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
6. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and registration.
7. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.
9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.
10. I will not throw up in the car.
11. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
And, finally, my last question . . .
Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?