Musings of the Chronologically Challenged™ Fourth Generation
Sunday, September 15, 2002
ALMOST A WOO-WOO
After yesterday's lament on poor Tweety, I received the following in my email. Pre-ordained for blogging, I'd say. (Yes, and this is also in fun -- I THINK!)
50 THINGS YOU CAN DO TO ANNOY THE POLITICALLY CORRECT
1) For your next house party, make a big pot of Endangered Species Stew.
2) Wear a Confederate Flag pin on your lapel.
3) Give out candy cigarettes on Halloween.
4) Give out REAL cigarettes on Halloween.
5) Keep a framed photo of Oliver North on your desk at work.
6) Call a bum a bum.
7) Wear Nike gym shoes.
8) Launch a petition drive to carve Ronald Reagan’s visage into Mt. Rushmore.
10) ...on Earth Day.
11) Advocate a nuclear first strike against Canada...
12) As justification, offer the fact that Canada has Socialized Medicine.
13) Drink Coors Beer.
14) Consume Conspicuously.
15) Tell this joke:
“Tom Daschle, Hillary Clinton, and Al Gore are in a life raft, but there are only enough provisions for one. Who gets saved?
Answer: The country
16) Cross a picket line.
17) Throw a party to celebrate the execution of a notorious murderer.
18) When they flip the switch, lead the crowd in a chorus of: “na-na-na-na, hey-hey.”
19) Spurn recycling.
20) Wear a Washington Redskins jersey....
21) .........accessorized by your Cleveland Indians baseball cap.
22) Buy a gun...
23) ...as a present for your 10 year old...
24) ...to celebrate his Junior NRA Membership.
25) Drain a wetland.
26) Drive a gas guzzling SUV....
27) .....with a “Pave the Rainforests” bumper sticker.
29) ...a big, smelly cigar...
30) ...in the no smoking section....
31) ....on the day of The Great American Smokeout.
32) Express profound admiration for Richard Nixon.
33) Wear fur.
34) Eat meat - especially veal.
35) Say that while you believe it should be matter of personal choice, you are
“personally opposed” to vegetarianism.
36) Attend boxing matches.
37) Refer to an adult woman as a “girl.”
38) Take every possible tax deduction....and then some.
39) Contribute money to the Jessie Helms Senatorial Campaign.
40) Suggest that the poor are undertaxed.
41) Recommend deportation to Cuba as a solution to “The Homeless Problem.”
42) Say you were just kidding. Then recommend work camps instead.
44) Watch Fox News.
45) Harm animals in the making of your movie.
46) Harm liberal actors in the making of your movie.
47) Listen to Dr. Laura.
48) When Janet Reno’s name is mentioned say: “Janet is sure a funny name for a guy.”
49) Drill for oil in your back yard.
50) Give away Ann Coulter’s new book, "Slander," to friends as Christmas presents.
And as a reminder, in case anyone wants to email me to critique (or applaud!) I'll be at firstname.lastname@example.org.