Musings of the Chronologically Challenged™ Fourth Generation
Wednesday, January 01, 2003
STILL FREE IN 2003?
IN-BOX -- Steve of Greensboro, NC
I am sending this e-mail so you will be aware that the FBI has introduced some new software that will enable them to keep track of every mouse click anyone may make on their computer. Sounds like more of our freedom going down the drain. To familiarize yourself with this new technology, go to this web site.
FELIZ ANO NUEVO!
In case you've seen "Happy New Year" 9, 473 times today, there's a change for you. Was going to use French, but I'm still PO'd at them. Anyhow, today was for smiling and happy and I'm determined no negativity for me - just in case the trend for the new year is affected by what happens on the first day. (Gonna have to stop listening to that 'root worker'!) So with mirth in mind, here are a couple of thingies I've been meaning to post.
More about North Carolinians....
You know you're from North Carolina if - -
**You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good pinto-bean weather.
**A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop...it's a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor. Example: "What kinna coke you want?"
**Fried Catfish is the other white meat.
**You understand these jokes and forward them to your friends from NC. (and those who just wish they were)
+ In Los Angeles, there's a hotline for people in denial. So far no one has called. - George Carlin
+ The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers. - Dave Barry
+ The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back in your pocket. - Will Rogers
IN-BOX - Bob of Kinston, NC
After a long illness, a woman died and arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the Gates and saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her. They saw her and began calling greetings to her, "Hello! How are you! We've been waiting for you! Good to see you!"
When Saint Peter came by, the woman said to him, "This is such a wonderful place! How do I get in?"
"You have to spell a word", Saint Peter told her.
"Which word?" the woman asked "Love," said St. Peter.
The woman correctly spelled LOVE and Saint Peter opened the gates and welcomed her into Heaven.
About three years later, Saint Peter came to the woman and asked her to watch the Gates of Heaven for him that day. While the woman was guarding the Gates of Heaven, her husband arrived.
"I'm surprised to see you," the woman said. "How have you been?"
"Oh, I've been doing pretty well since you died," her husband replied. "I married that beautiful young nurse who took care of you while you were ill, and
then I won the lottery! I sold that little house you and I lived in and bought a big mansion. My wife and I traveled all around the world in our 75' yacht.......
Yesterday, we were in Alcapulco and I went waterskiing. I fell, and the ski hit me on the head, and here I am. How do I get through the Gates?"
"You have to spell a word," the woman told him.
"Which word?" her husband asked.