Musings of the Chronologically Challenged™ Fourth Generation

 

Feline Freeway Alert
Was thinking of Trailer Park Girl today, wondering how she’s doing with her new adventures into Pussydom, and decided I’d send her a kitty-mail. In searching for a good one, I came across several that are really fantastic for feline aficionados. National Cat Week isn’t until June, but I can’t wait. Some are these are just too cute to sit on. Some of my otherwise favorite bloggers who are not receptive to cat lore may leave now. (You know who you are. I know who you are. So no need to leave vituperative comments some place.) Those who may enjoy the following Mother of All >^..^< Pussyfootins, read on and link.

>^..^< For very entertaining Cat Codes, go here.

>^..^< Cat Haiku
You never feed me.
Perhaps I'll sleep on your face.
That will sure show you.

You must scratch me there!
Yes, above my tail!
Behold, elevator butt.

The rule for today
Touch my tail, I shred your hand.
New rule tomorrow.

In deep sleep hear sound
cat vomit hairball somewhere
will find in morning.

Grace personified.
I leap into the window.
I meant to do that.

Blur of motion, then -
silence, me, a paper bag.
What is so funny?

You're always typing.
Well, let's see you ignore my
sitting on your hands.

My small cardboard box.
You cannot see me if I
can just hide my head.

Terrible battle.
I fought for hours. Come and see!
What's a "term paper?"

Small brave carnivores
Kill pine cones and mosquitoes
Fear vacuum cleaner

I want to be close
to you. Can I fit my head
inside your armpit?

Wanna go outside.
Oh, crap! Help! I got outside!
Let me back inside!

Oh no! Big One
has been trapped by newspaper!
Cat to the rescue!

Humans are so strange.
Mine lies still in bed, then screams.
My claws are not that sharp.

Cats meow out of angst
"Thumbs! If only we had thumbs!
We could break so much!"

The Big Ones snore now
Every room is dark and cold
Time for "Cup Hockey"

We're almost equals
I purr to show I love you
Want to smell my butt?

>^..^< Real Kool Kitty Rap here. (speakers necessary)

>^..^< The Cat
A man who absolutely hated his wife's cat decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park.... As he was getting home, the cat was walking up the driveway....

The next day, he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away and the same thing again... Driving back up his driveway, there was the cat!

He kept taking the cat further and further and the darn cat would always beat him home.

At last, he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again, and another right until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and left the cat there....

Hours later, the man calls home to his wife: "Jen, is the cat there?"
"Yes", the wife answers..."why do you ask?"
Frustrated, the man answered: "Put that son of a bitch on the phone. I'm lost and need directions!"

>^..^< Here’s where you can find Basic Rules for Cats Running A House with musical accompaniment. Stuff like this is hard to find, ya’ll.

Congratulations to all who made it down the entire Feline Freeway!











posted by HCL at 6:15 PM