Musings of the Chronologically Challenged™ Fourth Generation

 
Personals
The following ad is reported to have appeared in the personals of The AtlantaJournal-Constitution newspaper: Only the Grouchy Old Cripple knows for sure!

SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant.
I'm a very good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. Rub me the right way and watch me respond. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Kiss me and I'm yours. Call (404) 875-6420 and ask for Daisy.

Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society about an 8 week-old black Labrador retriever.


QUOTABLES

If human beings are perceived as potentials rather than problems, as possessing strengths instead of weaknesses, as unlimited rather that dull and unresponsive, then they thrive and grow to their capabilities. - Barbara Bush

Live all you can; it's a mistake not to. It doesn't so much matter what you do in particular, so long as you have your life. If you haven't had that, what have you had? -Henry James

As long as you keep a person down, some part of you has to be down there to hold him down, so it means you cannot soar as you otherwise might. -Marian Anderson

Sympathy is never wasted except when you give it to yourself. -John W. Raper

The self is not something that one finds. It is something that one creates. -Thomas Szasz


>^..^< PUSSYFOOTIN'
>^..^< This guy cracks me up. But, if I could get an appointment with him, he could fix it, since he's a practicing physician.
>^..^< Keep this under your hat: Tuesday is her birthday!!!
>^..^< MIA - Memorial services to be announced after Labor Day.


IS MY TIME UP?

A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God she asked "Is my time up?" God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a facelift, liposuction, and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair color.
Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it. After her last operation, she was released from the hospital.

While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance. Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?"

God replied, "I didn't recognize you."











posted by HCL at 9:00 PM