Musings of the Chronologically Challenged™ Fourth Generation

 
HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY, MLK AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY GENERAL LEE!


LYNX >^..^<™

Remember Uncle NoPass? Chuck's uncle who spent "three years, nine months and 22 days without a pass in the South Pacific in World War II"? Here's his latest tale.

Seems you can find out everything about the fine gentleman at Can You Hear Me Now? except his name!!!
"My Weblog is the main outlet for my many emotional needs. All facets of me can be found there. I'm as open and honest as I know how to be. I'm doing my best to grow old with dignity." (Well, me too, Nice Nameless Guy. But I don't think I'm being as successful as you!) Here's an informative link from NNG's blog: http://www.exilemm.com/e-sub-nullification.shtml WHAT IS NULLIFICATION? NNG ends his post with: "If the people of this country wish to continue to be governed by "We the people" they had better wake up, become interested and active in said government. The very least they can do is talk about what is going on among themselves, ferret out truth from the midst of all the lies and empty promises and come to some informed conclusions before election day this year. Fear, paranoia and apathy have the power to handcuff and hobble a justice system that is already admittedly blind."

And that last paragraph is a good introduction to the following Lynxes: (keep the "cat motif" going to welcome Acidman home).

GEPHARDT AD QUOTES DEAN OUT OF CONTEXT
Tough attack twists Dean’s words about Medicare.
IS BUSH ABUSING SENIORS WITH MEDICARE Rx BENEFIT?
A liberal group's ad gets a couple facts right, but leaves out the good stuff.

According to Yahoo: "LONDON (Reuters) - More than five million detailed aerial photographs from World War II go onto the Internet Monday, giving the public their first views of some of the most dramatic and grisly moments of the conflict." Also, "The images will be available on the Internet from Monday January 19 at www.evidenceincamera.co.uk, but Williams said the Web site was already under siege."

See that little logo of the state of North Carolina on the left? That's where to find the listing of the North State Bloggers, of which I am an honored member. Click on that red, white and blue NC logo and you may see some bloggers you didn't know were North Carolinians. Some good stuff over there ya'll. Also, say a welcoming hello to new NSB member Tiffany, of Blown Fuse, if you have time.


INVEST WISELY

In the wake of the Exxon/Mobile deal and the AOL/Time Warner implode, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks. Watch for these consolidations in 2004:

1. Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W. R. Grace Co. will merge and become: Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.

2. Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and become: Poly-Warner Cracker.

3. 3M will merge with Goodyear and issue forth as: MMMGood.

4. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become: ZipAudiDoDa.

5. FedEx is expected to join its major competitor, UPS, and become: FedUP.

6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become: Fairwell Honeychild.

7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become: Poupon Pants.

8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become: Knott NOW.

That's all for now.....invest wisely
[thanks to Kristi, Greenville, NC]


THE OSTRICH

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. As he sits, the waitress comes over and asks for their orders. The man says, "I'll have a hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?"
"I'll have the same," says the ostrich. A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will be $8.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "I'll have a hamburger, fries and a coke," and the ostrich says, "I'll have the same." Once again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes a routine, until late one evening the two enter again.
"The usual?" asks the waitress.
"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and salad." says the man, "Same for me." says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress comes with the order and says, "That will be $24.62." Once again the man pulls exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress can't hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?"

"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."

"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"

"That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.

The waitress asks, "One other thing, sir, what's with the ostrich?" The man sighs, pauses, and answers,

"My second wish was for a tall chick with long legs who agrees with everything I say."
[thanks to Brenda, Winterville, NC]


OUTSTANDING QUOTES

A woman drove me to drink ... and I hadn't even the courtesy to thank her.
~W.C. Fields

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
~W.C. Fields

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
~George Burns













posted by HCL at 12:17 PM