Musings of the Chronologically Challenged™ Fourth Generation
Monday, February 16, 2004
HEY, UNCLE!! HERE'S LOOKING AT YOU, KID!!
THE COST OF KIDS
I have seen repeatedly the breakdown of the cost of raising a child, but this is the first time I have seen the rewards listed this way. It's nice - really nice!!
The government recently calculated the cost of raising a child from birth to 18 and came up with $160,140 for a middle income family. Talk about sticker shock! That doesn't even touch college tuition. But $160,140 isn't so bad if you break it down. It translates into $8,896.66 a year, $741.38 a month, or $171.08 a week. That's a mere $24.24 a day! Just over a dollar an hour.
Still, you might think the best financial advice says don't have children if you want to be "rich." It is just the opposite. What do your get for your $160,140?
Naming rights. First, middle, and last!
Glimpses of God every day.
Giggles under the covers every night.
More love than your heart can hold.
Butterfly kisses and Velcro hugs.
Endless wonder over rocks, ants, clouds, and warm cookies.
A hand to hold, usually covered with jam.
A partner for blowing bubbles, flying kites, building sandcastles, and skipping down the sidewalk in the pouring rain.
Someone to laugh yourself silly with no matter what the boss said or how your stocks performed that day. For $160,140, you never have to grow up.
You get to finger-paint, play hide-and-seek, catch lightning bugs, and keep playing with kids toys.
You get to frame rainbows, hearts, and flowers under refrigerator magnets and collect spray painted noodle wreaths for Christmas, hand prints set in clay for Mother's Day, and cards with backward letters for Father's Day.
For $160,140, there is no greater bang for your buck.
You get to be a hero just for retrieving a Frisbee off the garage roof, taking the training wheels off the bike, removing a splinter, filling a wading pool, coaxing a wad of gum out of bangs, and coaching a baseball team that never wins but always gets treated to ice cream regardless.
You get a front row seat to history to witness the first step, first word, first date, and first time behind the wheel.
You get another branch added to your family tree, and if you're fortunate, a long list of limbs in your obituary called grandchildren.
You get an education in psychology, nursing, criminal justice, and communications, that no college can match.
You can kiss a boo-boo away, scare away the monsters under the bed, patch a broken heart, police a slumber party, ground them forever, and love them without limits, so one day they will, like you, love without counting the cost.
ENJOY YOUR KIDS AND GRANDKIDS.
[Thanks to John, New Jersey]
Yellow Dog, presidential candidate, releases his MPG Economic Plan
THE YELLOW DOG, MPG ECONOMIC PLAN!
Well the time has finally come for Yellow Dog to unveil my economic plan to revitalize the economy of the United States of America in such a way that our economy will never be again threatened by outside or foreign interests.
I’ve decided to call my plan the MPG Plan in reference to the means by which I plan to make it happen. My MPG plan will end our dependence on foreign oil, reduce global warming, reduce energy costs to Americans, put millions of Americans back to work in good paying manufacturing jobs, reduce taxes to working class Americans, generate substantial profits to American corporations, and in-general, make a whole lot of Americans a lot happier than they now are. And on top of all that, the MPG plan will accomplish this without violating existing trade agreements as directed by NAFTA and the WTO.
How, you ask? Read all about it here.
SPECIAL POEM FOR SENIOR CITIZENS
A row of bottles on my shelf
Caused me to analyze myself.
One yellow pill I have to pop
Goes to my heart so it won't stop.
A little white one that I take
Goes to my hands so they won't shake.
The blue ones that I use a lot
Tell me I'm happy when I'm not.
The purple pill goes to my brain
And tells me that I have no pain.
The capsules tell me not to wheeze
Or cough or choke or even sneeze.
The red ones, smallest of them all,
Go to my blood so I won't fall.
The orange ones, very big and bright,
Prevent my leg cramps in the night.
Such an array of brilliant pills
Helping to cure all kinds of ills.
But what I'd really like to know...........
Is what tells each one where to go!
But there's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example, I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.