Musings of the Chronologically Challenged™ Fourth Generation

 
IN THE MAIL BOX
From dear Christina, Swansboro, NC

By the time the Lord made woman, he was into His sixth day of working overtime. An angel appeared and said, "Why are you spending so much time on this one?" And the Lord answered, "Have you seen My spec sheet on her? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic; have over 200 movable parts, all replaceable; able to run on diet coke and leftovers; have a lap that can hold four children at one time; have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart -- and she will do everything with only two hands."

The angel was astounded at the requirements. "Only two hands!? No way! And that's just on the standard model? That's too much work for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish."

"But I won't," the Lord protested. "I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to My own heart. She already heals herself when she is sick AND can work 18 hour days." The angel moved closer and touched the woman. "But you have made her so soft, Lord." "She is soft," the Lord agreed, "but I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish."

"Will she be able to think?", asked the angel. The Lord replied, "Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason and negotiate." The angel then noticed something, and reaching out, touched the woman's cheek. "Oops, it looks like you have a leak in this model. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one."

"That's not a leak," the Lord corrected, "that's a tear!" "What's the tear for?" the angel asked. The Lord said, "The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love, her loneliness, her grief and her pride." The angel was impressed. "You are a genius, Lord.. You thought of everything! Woman is truly amazing."

And she is! Women have strengths that amaze men. They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy. They smile when they want to scream. They sing when they want to cry. They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous. They fight for what they believe in. They stand up to injustice. They don't take "no" for an answer when they believe there is a better solution. They go without so their family can have. They go to the doctor with a frightened friend. They love unconditionally. They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards. They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding. Their hearts break when a friend dies. They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left. They know that a hug and a kiss can help to heal a broken heart. Women come in all sizes, in all colors and shapes. They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you. The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning! They bring joy and hope. They have compassion and ideals. They give moral support to their family and friends. Women have vital things to say and everything to give. However if there's one flaw in women, it is that they tend to forget their worth. Pass this along to your women friends to remind them how amazing they are.


>^..^< PUSSYFOOTIN'™

>^..^< Serenity takes on the liars one more time in Grasping at Straws. Don't miss this. And while you're over there, see her letter to Susan Sarandon and Pals from yesterday.

>^..^< Keep current on the Kenneth Walker case at redneckin'. Scroll all the way to the bottom for up-to-date Comments. Oh - and see the redneckin' home page too.

>^..^< Former New York Mayor Ed Koch says he will vote Republican for the first time in 50 years in this O'Reilly interview.

>^..^< The Grouchy Old Cripple had a drop of vino and got exceptionally grouchy -- especially at Viet Nam hypocrites. Not for the faint-hearted.

>^..^< As if S-Train is not scary enough, he is taking on co-intimidator, T-Steel as a blog-mate. According to Train, "He's about my height (6' 4") but weighs about 300 pounds (he played college football). He's a physically intimidating guy with a pure and kind soul though." C'mon, T-Steel. Show us what you got!!!


THE DRUNK

A good-OLE-boy staggered home late after another evening with his drinking buddies. Shoes in left hand to avoid waking his wife, he tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step in the darkened entryway.

As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke, and made the landing especially painful.

Managing to suppress a yelp, he sprung up, pulled down his pants and examined his lacerated and bleeding cheeks in the mirror of a nearby darkened hallway. Then he managed to find a large full box of band aids before proceeding to place a patch as best he could on each place he saw blood. After hiding the now almost empty box, he managed to shuffle and stumble his way to bed.

Come morning, he awakens with a screaming pain in his head, and butt, to find his wife staring at him from across the room, and hears her say: "You were drunk again last night!!!"

Forcing himself to ignore his agony, he looked meekly at her and replied: "Now, Hon, Why would you say such a mean thing?"

"Well," she said, "there is the front door left open, the glass at the bottom of the stairs, the drops of blood trailing through the house, and your bloodshot eyes but, mostly....it's all those band aids stuck on the downstairs mirror!"



posted by HCL at 12:16 AM