Musings of the Chronologically Challenged™ Fourth Generation
Thursday, April 08, 2004
BAND OF BROTHERS - Sunday, April 11 - History Channel
Well, I'm back - sort of. Got a week of blogs to read and catch up on and nothing much to say tonight. Just that I had the Greatest Birthday Bash EVER! Meanwhile, for you who are in "paste withdrawal", here are a few.
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend by the name of Common Sense who has been with us for many years.
No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such value lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, and that life isn't always fair.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not kids, are in charge).
His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.
Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student but could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Finally, Common sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses, and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, spilled a bit in her lap, and was awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.
He is survived by two stepbrothers; My Rights and Ima Whiner.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
[thanks to Kristi, Greenville, NC]
Q. What does it mean when the Easter Bunny arrives one day late with melted candy?
A. He probably had a bad hare day.
Q. How does a rabbit make gold soup?
A. He begins with 24 carrots (carets!)
Q. What do you get when you pour boiling hot water down a rabbit hole?
A. Hot cross bunnies!
Q. What does it mean when you see thirty rabbits in a row and they are all marching backwards?
A. What you have is a receding hareline.
>^..^< The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs!
>^..^< PUPPY, ANYONE?
>^..^< Jim and I are both Aries!! April 5. HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY TO US, JIM.