Musings of the Chronologically Challenged™ Fourth Generation
Friday, June 04, 2004
You and I do not see things as they are. We see things as we are. - Herb Cohen
I have two very special Democrat friends. "T" was perhaps my first cyber pal and over the years I have come to think the very world of both him and his lovely family. My relationship with "J" began in the 1980s through our profession, but developed into a personal friendship that continued after my retirement. He is a dear buddy and a true gentleman, for whom I have always had the utmost admiration and respect. The only fly in the friendship ointment with these two nice guys of late has been political candidates. Today I received the following e-mails from them, the latest of many.
Exchange: T & Indigo
T: I would like to know what you think of our president these days.
Indigo: I don't think as badly of him as you do, but I have a long list of disagreements with him.
T: I know you stop by the blog once in a while, but are you still leaning for W?
Indigo: I could vote Dem if the DNC would come up with an acceptable candidate. John Kerry is not that for me.
T: I know you will say you hate all pols
Indigo: ('hate' too strong a word -- but definitely 'disillusioned')
T: but you still have to admit that W is a buffoon and should go.
Indigo: Probably where we differ the most is that I can see "buffoons" on both sides of the aisle. Republicans did not corner the market on buffoonery. Democrats are well represented - historically and currently.
Ref: "that pro-Bush stuff you and your friends cycle about"
Every passing day another revelation about what a pack of lying bastards we have in the White House...don't know how an honest woman like you can accept them as they are. I simply don't get it.
E-mail to "T" from Indigo later in the day: As a follow-up to email earlier today [exchange above], here's one from a REGISTERED DEMOCRAT friend of mine!! Brace yourself, because I'm probably going to break tradition (for me) and post this on my blog, just because it's a funny joke. If you have a similar funny story about Bush - not mean-spirited or malicious - send it to me and I'll post that too. Poking fun at either candidate is fun for me!! You know what they say about "if you don't have a sense of humor - - -" (Or is that "if you can't take a joke - - -" ? I forget. Having a SM™)
GETTING THROUGH CUSTOMS
A guy was traveling through Mexico on vacation when, lo and behold, he lost his wallet and all identification. Cutting his trip short, he attempts to make his way home but is stopped by the Customs Agent at the border.
"May I see your identification, please?" asks the agent.
"I'm sorry, but I lost my wallet," replies the guy.
"Sure, buddy, I hear that every day. No ID, no crossing the border," says the agent.
"But I can prove that I'm an American!" he exclaims. "I have a picture of Ronald Reagan tattooed on one butt cheek and a picture of George Bush on the other."
"This I gotta see," replies the agent. With that, Joe drops his pants and bends over in front of the agent.
"By golly, you're right!" exclaims the agent. "Go on home to Boston."
"Thanks!" he says. "But how did you know I was from Boston?"
The agent replies, "I recognized the picture of John Kerry in the middle."
(To Be Continued . . . . Any constructive input regarding the political "fly" may be e-mailed to indigoinsights[at]hotmail[dot]com.)
MY KIND OF MARINE!
As the crowded airliner was about to take off, the peace was shattered by a five-year-old boy who picked that moment to throw a wild temper tantrum. No matter what his frustrated, embarrassed mother did or said to try to calm him down, the boy continued to scream furiously and kick the seats around him.
Suddenly, from the rear of the plane, a man in a U.S. Marine Corps uniform is seen slowly walking forward up the aisle. Stopping the flustered mother with an upraised hand, the courtly, soft-spoken Marine leaned down and, motioning toward his chest, whispered something into the boy's ear.
Instantly, the boy calmed down, gently took his mother's hand, and quietly fastened his seat belt. All the other passengers burst into spontaneous applause.
As the Marine slowly made his way back to his seat, one of the cabin attendants touched his sleeve. "Excuse me, sir," she asked quietly,
"but could I ask you what magic words you used on that little boy?"
The Marine smiled serenely and gently confided, "I showed him my pilot's wings, service stars, and battle ribbons, and explained that they entitle me to throw one passenger out the plane door on any flight I choose, and that I was just about to make my selection for this flight."
Students in an advanced biology class were taking a mid term. The last question was "Name seven advantages of mothers milk," -worth 70 points or none
at all. One student who had also partied the night before, was hard put to think of seven advantages.
He finally wrote:
1. It is a perfect formula for the child.
2. It provides immunity against several diseases.
3. It is always available as needed.
4. It is always at the right temperature.
5. It is inexpensive.
6. It bonds the child to the mother, and vice versa.
And then, the student was stuck. Finally, just before the bell indicating the end of the test rang, he wrote...........................
7. It comes in such cute containers.
He got an "A."