Musings of the Chronologically Challenged™ Fourth Generation
Tuesday, November 23, 2004
>^..^< A new "remember our troops" site: America Supports You. Check it out and read testimonies from average Americans who are actively helping on the homefront. You may get some new ideas of how you can be pro-active. I did.
>^..^< Mostly Cajun has posted a Letter from Iraq from a Marine writing to his father about his participation in the Fallujah battle. Please don't miss this!
>^..^< According the ObDrop GOC's research, not much is likely to be SEARED in our memories! Follow his LYNX and learn why.
>^..^< I missed this earlier, but Leslie's Omnibus has a suggestion for protection from the flu, if you can't find flu vaccine.
>^..^< How DO black people think? Baldilocks tells how she and James Taranto think. Very good springboard here.
>^..^< Sailor in the Desert offers an essay by Antonio Williams for another jump off the springboard.
from Jimmy, Ayden, NC
This is not intended to upset fans of tennis, basketball, football or baseball. It is, rather, an attempt to put everything in its proper perspective.
Ever wonder why golf is growing in popularity and why people who don't even play go to tournaments or watch it on TV? The following truisms may shed some light:
> Golf is an honorable game, with the overwhelming majority of players being honorable people who don't need referees.
> Golfers don't have some of their players in jail every week.
> Golfers don't kick dirt on, or throw bottles at, other people.
> Professional golfers are paid in direct proportion to how well they play.
> Golfers don't get per diem and two seats on a charter flight when they travel between tournaments.
> Golfers don't hold out for more money, or demand new contracts, because of another player's deal.
> Professional golfers don't demand that the taxpayers pay for the courses on which they play.
> When golfers make a mistake, nobody is there to cover for them or back them.
> The PGA raises more money for charity in 1 year than the NFL does in 2.
> You can watch the best golfers in the world up close, at any tournament, including the majors, all day every day for $25 or $30. The cost for even a nosebleed seat at the Super Bowl costs around $300 or more unless you buy it from scalpers in which case it's $1,000+.
> You can bring a picnic lunch to the tournament golf course, watch the best in the world and not spend a small fortune on food and drink. Try that at one of the taxpayer funded baseball or football stadiums. If you bring a soft drink into a ballpark, they'll give you two options -- get rid of it or leave.
> In golf you cannot fail 70% of the time and make $9 million a season, like the best baseball hitters ! (.300 batting average) do.
> Golf doesn't change its rules to attract fans.
> Golfers have to adapt to an entirely new playing area each week.
> Golfers keep their clothes on while they are being interviewed.
> Golf doesn't have free agency.
> In their prime, Palmer, Norman, and other stars, would shake your hand and say they were happy to meet you. In his prime Jose Canseco wore T-shirts that read "Leave Me Alone."
> You can hear birds chirping on the golf course during a tournament.
> At a golf tournament, (unlike at taxpayer-funded sports stadiums and arenas) you won't hear a steady stream of four letter words and nasty name calling while you're hoping that no one spills beer on you.
> Tiger hits a golf ball over twice as far as Barry Bonds hits a baseball.
> Golf courses don't ruin the neighborhood.
> And Finally: Here's a little slice of golf history that you might enjoy.
Why do golf courses have 18 holes? - not 20, or 10, or an even dozen? During a discussion among the club's membership board at St. Andrews in 1858, a senior member pointed out that it takes exactly 18 shots to polish off a fifth of Scotch. By limiting himself to only one shot of Scotch per hole, the Scot figured a round of golf was finished when the Scotch ran out.
DON'T YOU JUST LOVE IT? DEPARTMENT
I was in the express lane at the store quietly fuming. Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the check-outline pushing a cart piled high with groceries. Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward looked into the cart and asked sweetly, "So which six items would you like to buy?" Wouldn't it be great if that happened more often?!!!
[thanks to Don, the Mountain Man in Virginia]
MORE SAYINGS BY MAXINE
"If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance."
"I may be old, but people who look like me always win the lottery."
"How do you prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out!"
"No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes."
"I don't make snowmen. If I'd wanted to hang around with a cold man with slush for brains, I'd still be married."
"A friend will always tell you exactly what she thinks! So I guess that makes me friends with everybody."
"Women who think about remarrying should just throw some men's underwear on the floor and shove all the blankets on the other side of the bed instead."