Musings of the Chronologically Challenged™ Fourth Generation
Monday, February 07, 2005
from Jimmy, Ayden, NC
We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the "seniors' special" was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $1.99.
"Sounds good," my wife said. "But I don't want the eggs."
"Then I'll have to charge you two dollars and forty-nine cents because you're ordering a la carte," the waitress warned her.
"You mean I'd have to pay for not taking the eggs?" My wife asked incredulously. "I'll take the special."
"How do you want your eggs?"
"Raw and in the shell," my wife replied.
She took the two eggs home.
DON'T MESS WITH SENIORS!
Just remember, when you're over the hill, you pick up speed.
~~Charles M. Schultz
from Christina, Swansboro, NC
A father walks into a book store with his young son. The boy is holding a quarter. Suddenly, the boy starts choking, going blue in the face. The father realizes the boy has swallowed the quarter and starts panicking, shouting for help. A well dressed, attractive and serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a coffee bar reading a newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, neatly folds the newspaper and places it on the counter, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the book store. Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants; takes hold of the boy's testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly. After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the quarter, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand. Releasing the boy's testicles, the woman hands the coin to the father and walks back to her seat in the coffee bar without saying a word. As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, "I've never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor?" " No," the woman replied. "Divorce attorney."
One day in retrospect the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful.
from Bob Bright, Kinston, NC
First Amendment No Big Deal, Students Say
It turns out the First Amendment is a second-rate issue to many of those nearing their own adult independence, according to a study of high school attitudes released Monday.
Read entire article here.
>^..^< A great read about First Sgt. Brad Kasal over at Blackfive's blog. According to highly placed Marine Corps sources, Kasal and another Marine who was killed in action at Fallujah, may become the first Marine Corps recipients of the Medal of Honor since the Vietnam War. The other potential recipient is the late Sgt. Rafael Peralta, who was killed after using his wounded body to shield his comrades from an exploding hand grenade thrown by an insurgent.
>^..^< Michele Malkin requests: "If you were at Camp Bucca last fall when the photos were taken, let's hear from you." This in regard to "Camp Crazy's" mud-wrestling party. Respond to Michele if you were there. Read it all on her blog.
>^..^< In case you're wondering why no posting at Obnoxious Droppings, HE REALLY DID GO TO DISNEY WORLD!!
>^..^< Jen Martinez says "It's better to be a red person in a blue state than a blue person in a red state. As a red person, if your blue neighbors turn into a mob at least you have a gun to protect yourself...."
>^..^< To lighten up with some hilarious reading see Politically Correct Little Red Riding Hood.
>^..^< If I forgot to link with the hamster story before now, my apologies. Here it is.
>^..^< Don't you hate it when - - - - - (my sentiments exactly!)
>^..^< Janis Gore said go here. I did and was amazed!!
>^..^< Want a couple of minutes of peace and tranquility? Here ya go.