Musings of the Chronologically Challenged™ Fourth Generation

 
INCOMING SENIOR MOMENTS

from VW
To commemorate her 69th birthday on October 1, actress/vocalist Julie Andrews made a special appearance at Manhattan's Radio City Music Hall for the benefit of the AARP. One of the musical numbers she performed was "My Favorite Things" from the legendary movie "Sound Of Music." However, the lyrics of the song were deliberately changed for the entertainment of her "blue hair" audience. Here are the lyrics she sang:

Maalox and nose drops and needles for knitting,
Walkers and handrails and a new dental fitting,
Bundles of magazines tied in string,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Cadillacs and cataracts, hearing aids and glasses,
Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,
Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

When the pipes leak,
When the bones creak,
When the knees go bad,
I simply remember my favorite things,
And then I don't feel so sad.

Hot tea and crumpets, and corn pads for bunions,
No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,
Bathrobes and heat pads and hot meals they bring,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Back pains, confused brains, and no fear of sinnin',
Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin',
And we won't mention our short shrunken frames,
When we remember our favorite things.

When the joints ache, when the hips break,
When the eyes grow dim,
Then I remember the great life I've had,
And then I don't feel so bad.

Ms. Andrews received a standing ovation from the crowd that lasted over four minutes and repeated encores.


Dress Code
from Brenda, Atlanta

Many of us "Old Folks" (hovering near 60, those over 60, or WAY over 60) are quite confused about how we should present ourselves. Not to burst your bubble or anything, but despite what you may have seen on the streets, the following combinations DO NOT go together and thus should be avoided:

1. A nose ring and bifocals
2. Spiked hair and bald spots
3. A pierced tongue and dentures
4. Miniskirts and support hose
5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads
6. Speedo's and cellulite
7. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar
8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor
9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge
10. Bikinis and liver spots
11. Short shorts and varicose veins!
12. In-line skates and a walker

And last, but certainly not least:
13. Thongs and Depends


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PUSSYFOOTIN'™
with Lynx

>^..^< Surfing along the Good Intentions Highway, I came upon A Testimonial over at ObDrop. If that's what you call "covering my six", GOC, I guess that's the one you owe me! And since it's all in the family, plus The Sailor makes allowances for the chronologically challenged, I'm hoping to be forgiven my negligence in getting up a similar post before now.

>^..^< Another one bites the dust!!! Boudica has moved to the Land of Mu. Wonder how much impact the latest Blogger SNAFUs had on other bloggers?
posted by HCL at 1:28 PM