Musings of the Chronologically Challenged™ Fourth Generation
Friday, August 26, 2005
The tenuous grasp I have on BlogSpot right now is so ureliable, this typing may not even make it to the blog. Just in case it disappears, I'm not investing much time in the post. Hence .......
PASTIES FOR SENIORS!!!
This story is for Senior Citizens. If you don't qualify, save a copy till you do.
A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says, "I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today."
The bartender says "Well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy you a drink. In fact, this one is on me."
As the woman finishes her drink, the woman to her right says, "I would like to buy you a drink, too."
The old woman says, "Thank you. Bartender, I want a Scotch with two drops of water."
"Coming up," says the bartender. As she finishes that drink, the man to her left says, "I would like to buy you one, too."
The old woman says, "Thank you. Bartender, I want another Scotch with two drops of water."
"Coming right up," the bartender says. As he gives her the drink, he says, "Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity. Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?"
The old woman replies, "Sonny, when you're my age, you've learned how to hold your liquor. Holding your water, however, is a whole other issue."
TEEN POVERTY IN AMERICA
I just spent several hours observing teenagers hanging out at our local mall. I came to the conclusion many teenagers in America today are living in poverty. Most young men I observed didn't even own a belt; there was not one among the whole group.
But that wasn't the sad part. Many were wearing their daddy's jeans. Some jeans were so big and baggy they hung low on their hips, exposing their underwear. I know some must have been ashamed their daddy was short, because his jeans hardly went below their knees. They weren't even their daddies' good jeans, for most had holes ripped in the knees and a dirty look to them.
It grieved me that in a modern, affluent society like America, there are people who can't afford a decent pair of jeans. I was thinking about asking my church to start a jeans drive for "poor kids at the mall." Then on Christmas Eve, I could go Christmas caroling and distribute jeans to these poor teenagers.
But here is the saddest part..... it was the girls they were hanging out with that disturbed me most. I never, in all of my life, seen such poverty-stricken girls. These girls had the opposite problem of the guys; they all had to wear their little sisters' clothes. Their jeans were about 5 sizes too small! I don't know how they could put them on, let alone button them up. Their jeans barely went over their hipbones. Most also had on their little sister's top; it hardly covered their midsections.
Oh, they were trying to hold their heads up with pride, but it was a sad sight to see these almost grown women wearing children's clothes.
However, it was their underwear that bothered me most. They, like the boys, because of the improper fitting of their clothes, had their underwear exposed. I never saw anything like it. It looked like their underwear was only held together by a single piece of string.
I know it saddens your heart to receive this report on condition of our American teenagers. While I go to bed every night with a closet full of clothes nearby, there are millions of "mall girls" who barely have enough material to keep it together. I think their "poorness" is why these two groups gather at the mall, boys with their short daddies' ripped jeans, and girls wearing their younger sisters' clothes. The mall is one place where they can find acceptance. So, next time you are at the mall, doing your shopping , and you pass by some of these poor teenagers, would you say a prayer for them?
And one more thing ... Will you pray the guys' pants won't fall down, and girls' strings won't break?
I thank you all,
I LOVE GRANDMAS!
Here's a quote from a government employee who witnessed a recent interaction between an elderly woman and an antiwar protester in a Metro station in DC:
"There were protesters on the train platform handing out pamphlets on the evils of America. I politely declined to take one. An elderly woman was behind me getting off the escalator and a young (20ish) female protester offered her a pamphlet, which she politely declined. The young protester put her hand on the old woman's shoulder as a gesture of friendship and in a very soft voice said, "Ma'am, don't you care about the children of Iraq?"
The old woman looked up at her and said, "Honey, my first husband died in France during World War II, my second husband died in Korea so you could have the right to stand here and bad mouth our country. If you touch me again. I'll stick this umbrella up your butt and open it."