Musings of the Chronologically Challenged™ Fourth Generation
Thursday, November 03, 2005
(actually reported by a child's teacher)
After Christmas, a teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their holiday away from school. One child wrote the following:
We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa. They used to live in a big brick house but Grandpa got retarded and they moved to Arizona.
Now they live in a tin box and have rocks painted green to look like grass. They ride around on their bicycles and wear name tags because they don't know who they are anymore.
They go to a building called a wrecked center, but they must have got it fixed because it is all okay now, and do exercises there, but they don't do them very well.
There is a swimming pool too, but in it, they all jump up and down with hats on.
At their gate, there is a doll house with a little old man sitting in it. He watches all day so nobody can escape.
Sometimes they sneak out. They go cruising in their golf carts. Nobody there cooks, they just eat out. And they eat the same thing every night, early birds.
Some of the people can't get out past the man in the doll house. The ones who do get out, bring food back to the wrecked center and call it pot luck.
My Grandma says that Grandpa worked all his life to earn his retardment and says I should work hard so I can be retarded someday too.
When I earn my retardment, I want to be the man in the doll house. Then I will let people out so they can visit their grandchildren.
from Christina, Swansboro, NC
How do we measure our country when we find ourselves starting to believe some of the anti-American sentiment and negativity about our government and its policies?
Perhaps we should think about the reply of England's Prime Minister Tony Blair when asked by one of his parliament members as to why he believes so much in America ... and does he think America is on the right track?
His reply:"A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in ... and how many want out."
from Brenda, a dear, old friend -- and a great lady herself!
QUOTES BY GREAT LADIES
Inside every older person is a younger person -- wondering what the hell happened.
-Cora Harvey Armstrong-
Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out. But I can usually shut the bitch up with cookies.
The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.
-Helen Hayes (at 73)-
I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows.
Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.
A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.
Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends.
My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being, hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
Old age ain't no place for sissies.
A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't.
The phrase "working mother" is redundant.
Every time I close the door on reality, it comes in through the windows.
Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.
I try to take one day at a time -- but sometimes several days attack me at once.
If you can't be a good example -- then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.
I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb -- and I'm also not blonde.
If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.
I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.
When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman.
I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.
I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house.
-Zsa Zsa Gabor-
Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.