Indigo Insights

Wednesday, June 25, 2003
How Can You Tell Who the Good Guys Are Anymore?
Someone sent this link to me, presumably for my entertainment. But as stated in Monday's post, mean-spiritedness is not entertaining to me. I haven't seen any comparable Republican sites, but if anyone knows of one in the class of Evil GOP Bastards, please send the URL to indigoinsights [at] hotmail [dot] com. Incidentally, the feature on Joe Scarboro in the Hall of Shame seems pretty close to libel to this layperson. How about it, North State Blog attorneys?

Not PC Enough?
It occurred to me that the Boudreaux adventures may not meet the standards of the PC Patrol. With dialect usage now so frowned upon, it gave me pause when I realized that I may have inadvertently committed an unforgivable PC sin. But then I thought: OK, Boudreaux is a Louisiana Cajun. He is also a male and he is white. I don't believe he is a protected species. Good! I'm exonerated. Now, if Italian Americans are also exempt from PC rules, I may get away with the following.

This may be just another ethnic joke - or not. Came to me from a friend in New Jersey. How authentic is that? (LOL - thanks, John)

An old Italian Mafia Don is dying and he called his grandson to his bedside.

"Grandson, I wanna you lisin to me. I wanna for you to take my chrome plated 38 revolver so you will always remember me."

"But grandpa, I really don't like guns. How about you leaving me your Rolex watch instead ?"

"You lisina to me. Soma day you goina be runna da business, you goina have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big home and maybe a
coupla bambinos. Some day you goina coma home and maybe finda you wife in bed with another man.

"What you gonna do ? Point to you watch and say: "TIME'S UP"?

This is the Captain Speaking
Silflay Hraka made the link.
But Bigwig's commentary is what not to miss:

"Ahh, Ladies and Gentlemen, this is the Captain speaking. Please ignore the flames shooting out of the left engine. It's completely normal. Nothing to worry about. I'm only bothering to mention this because there's been a distressing incident where passengers, rather than placing all their unquestioning trust in the Captain and the sky waitresses, er, stewardesses, took matters into their own hands when it came to the issue of personal safety and undertook a profits eroding act of uncommanded passenger evacuation.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, nothing is more embarrassing to a Captain than an act of uncommanded passenger evacuation. It's unheard of. Next thing you know sheep will start trying to herd dogs. I don't want to live in a world of uncommanded passenger evacuations, and I don't want to be bothered with having to explain to you that everything is a-ok anytime some little out of the ordinary thing happens.

So, we at Delta airlines have adopted a new policy governing passenger behavior during flight. If you would all look at the shiny watch that the chief stewardess is holding up?

Thank you. Look at the watch, how shiny it is. The longer you look, the shinier is it. You're getting sleepy, so sleepy.........Your eyelids are getting heavy......Sleeeeepy....You will not move from your seat during flight.......You will fly only on Delta Airlines.....You will never question the Captain, nor ask the Stewardesses for anything.....There is no man on the wing...."

Cheap Helpful Hints (Disclaimer: If it seems too good to be true - - )
++ Drinking two glasses of Gatorade can relieve headache pain almost immediately - without the unpleasant side effects caused by traditional pain relievers.
++ Did you know that Colgate toothpaste makes an excellent salve for burns?
++ Before you head to the drugstore for a high-priced inhaler filled with mysterious chemicals, try chewing on a couple of curiously strong Altoids peppermints. They'll clear up your stuffed nose.
++ Achy muscles from a bout of the flu? Mix 1 Tablespoon of horseradish in 1/2 cup of olive oil. Let the mixture sit for 30 minutes,then apply it as a massage oil, for instant relief for aching muscles.
++ Sore Throat?? Just mix 1/4 cup of vinegar with 1/4 cup of honey and take 1 Tablespoon six times a day. The vinegar kills the bacteria.
++ Cure urinary tract infections with alka-seltzer. Just dissolve two tablets in a glass of water and drink it at the onset of the symptoms. Alka-Seltzer begins eliminating urinary tract infections almost instantly-even though the product has never been advertised for this use.

If We Are Facing in The Right Direction,
All We Have To Do is To Keep On Walking.

{Ancient Buddhist Expression}