Musings of the Chronologically Challenged™ Fourth Generation
Wednesday, March 03, 2004
The ultimate response to a Dear John letter...You gotta love a man like this. Humor in the face of defeat.
A Marine was deployed to Afghanistan. While he was there he received a letter from his girlfriend. In the letter she explained that she had slept with two guys while he had been gone and she wanted to break up with him. AND, she wanted pictures of herself back.
So the Marine did what any squared-away Marine would do. He went around to his buddies and collected all the unwanted photos of women he could find.
He then mailed about 25 pictures of women (with clothes and without) to his girl friend with the following note:
"I don't remember which one you are. Please remove your picture and send the rest back."
"The Marines I have seen around the world have the cleanest bodies, the filthiest minds, the highest morale, and the lowest morals of any group of animals I have ever seen. Thank God for the United States Marine Corps!"
~Eleanor Roosevelt, 1945...
Senior Citizen Alphabet
A for arthritis,
B for bad back,
C is for chest pains. Perhaps cardiac?
D is for dental replacements and decline,
E is for eyesight--can't read that top line.
F is for fissures and fluid retention
G is for gas (which I'd rather not mention)
H high blood pressure (I'd rather have low)
I for incisions with scars you can show.
J is for joints, that now fail to flex.
L for libido--what happened to sex?
But Wait! I forgot about K!
K is for my knees that crack when they're bent
(Please forgive me, my Memory ain't worth a cent)
N for neurosis, pinched nerves and stiff neck;
O is for osteo- and all bones that crack.
P for prescriptions, I have quite a few.
(Give me another pill; I'll be good as new!)
Q is for queasiness. Wine or flu?
R is for reflux-- one meal turns into two
S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears.
T for tinnitus--I hear bells in my ears.
U is for urinary: difficulties with flow.
V is for vertigo, that's "dizzy", you know.
W is worry, now what's going 'round?
X is for X ray-- and what might be found.
Y for another year I've left behind;
Z is for zest that I still have my mind!
Have survived all the symptoms my body's deployed,
And kept twenty-six doctors gainfully employed!!!
Ain't being a "senior citizen" great???
>^..^< Just a thought -- but it occurred to me that John Kerry will prove many historians wrong if he's elected. You know, the ones who said that Lincoln could not have been elected in the age of television because the American people would never vote for any candidate that ugly.
>^..^< Sgt. Mom expresses some of her pet peeves with the movie and television industry and their ignorance of our military. Some of MY favorite peeves too, and I'm not even a Sgt! When you go here to read, don't miss the comments, if you have time. They are a revelation, but it'll take a while to cover them all. Thanks to Technicalities for the link.
>^..^< To Whom It May Concern: Chuck's goofing off again. Don't even go there. Well, he did have something to say yesterday, but only excuses!!
QUOTABLES -- Steven Wright
*****The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
*****If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
*****Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
*****When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
*****Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
*****Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.