Musings of the Chronologically Challenged™ Fourth Generation
Wednesday, March 31, 2004
~~~~~~ BAND OF BROTHERS - April 11 - History Channel ~~~~~~
Blogging will be spotty-to-none for about a week. I'm going inland for a party: MINE!!!
In the interim, visit some of the links posted below in previous blogs.
THEY'RE GOOD STUFF.
THIS IS A DOG DAY
For all the dog owners and pet lovers of the world
If I Did Not Have Dogs
1. I could walk around the yard barefoot in safety.
2. My house could be carpeted instead of tiled and laminated.
3. All flat surfaces, clothing, furniture, and cars would be free of dog hair.
4. When the doorbell rings, it wouldn't sound like the ASPCA kennels.
5. When the doorbell rings, I could get to the door without wading through dog bodies who beat me there.
6. I could sit on the couch the way I wanted, without taking into consideration how much space several fur bodies would need to get comfortable.
7. I would not have strange presents under my Christmas tree - like dog bones, stuffed animals - or have to answer to people why I wrap them.
8. I would not be on a first name basis with three vets.
9. The most used words in my vocabulary would not be: "out", "sit", "down", "come", "no", "stay", and "leave him/her/it ALONE".
10. My house would not be cordoned off into zones with baby gates or barriers!
11. My pockets would not contain things like poo pick-up bags, dog treats and an extra leash.
12. I would no longer have to spell the words B-A-L-L or F-R-I-S-B-E-E or W-A-L-K.
13. I would not have as many leaves INSIDE my house as outside.
14. I would not look strangely at people who think having their ONE dog ties them down too much.
15. I'd look forward to Spring and the melting of the snow instead of dreading "mud season".
16. I would not have to answer the question "Why do you have so many dogs?" from people who will never have the joy in their life of knowing they are loved unconditionally by something as close to an angel as they will ever get.
[thanks to Kirsten, Greenville, NC]
If a Dog Was the Teacher You Would Learn Stuff Like:
-- When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
-- Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.
-- Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.
-- When it's in your best interest, practice obedience.
-- Let others know when they've invaded your territory.
-- Take naps.
-- Stretch before rising.
-- Run, romp, and play daily.
-- Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
-- Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
-- On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.
-- On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.
-- When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
-- No matter how often you're scolded, don't buy into the guilt thing and pout...run right back and make friends.
-- Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
-- Eat with gusto and enthusiasm. Stop when you have had enough.
-- Be loyal. Never pretend to be something you're not.
-- If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
-- When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.
[thanks to Christina, Swansboro, NC]
God Is Like.........
A fifth grade teacher in a Christian school asked her class to look at TV commercials and see if they could use them in some way to communicate ideas about God. Here are some of the results:
He works miracles.
He's got a better idea.
He's the real thing.
He cares enough to send His very best.
He gets the stains out that others leave behind.
He brings good things to life.
He has everything.
Try him, you'll like Him.
You can't see him, but you know He's there.
He's ready when you are.
You're in good hands with Him.
VO-5 Hair Spray
He holds through all kinds of weather.
Aren't you glad you have Him?
Don't you wish everybody did?
the U.S. POST OFFICE
Neither rain, nor snow, nor sleet, nor ice will keep Him from His appointed destination.
Tuesday, March 30, 2004
>^..^< Another Prodigal Son returns. Hey, Jim! I checked on the calf this morning. Not quite fat enough. Could we have hot dogs and burgers instead?
>^..^< Chuck says he may have changed his mind -- or he's telling "half truths" like both candidates. As for me, I'm getting estimates from movers and eating more at Outback.
>^..^< Anyone with any extra maps, please contact Cam - here.
>^..^< GOC gives an interesting link you may want to check out.
>^..^< Yes, one DOES wonder, Baldilocks. The Congressional Black Caucus is rather unpredictable - but who knows?
>^..^< If only I could do this!!!!
So, Fellow Bloggers, you thought you had a bad winter? Those of you who share your cares on your weblog have indicated as much. It seemed that a Bad Moon rose for me on January 1st too. John Two-Hawks tells about his winter in the Circle of Nations March edition. My Bad Moon is "the buffalo calving moon" to John. Read his words of encouragement below. And visit his website, Native Circle, for American Indian music, wisdom, politics, culture, heritage and arts. Click on the URL first and listen to beautiful Indian flute music while you read his message.
Well, here we are in the buffalo calving moon....
EAST - Wiyohinyanpata - Yellow (Four Winds)
Ever feel like you are being re-birthed? Like all complete hell has broken loose - and landed on you? I do my best to walk with Spirit.... and I have a hunch.... Is it just me, or has this winter knocked anyone else for a loop? Perhaps it is the path of my medicine that life has so often seemed to take swings at me. Perhaps there is a great power to be gained in nearly having your proverbial block knocked off over and over and over and over (and over and over and over and over!). At any rate, it appears I may be getting better at 'flyin like a butterfly and stingin like a bee' these days! In the words of one of Circle Studios' newest songwriters, Nancy Cooper Maier, 'it's been a long winter'. Yes it has Nancy. 3 of my elders nearly died in a crash this last winter, then it was one of my two musical soulmates, Sir Charles, who made his journey to the Spirit world at the age of 51. And a week and a half ago, our dear friend Chris passed away suddenly. And there are other crazy things going on that only those close to me know about. It is when you go through times like these that it is most important to be honest with how you feel. It is equally important to do whatever you can to keep your balance. When Muhammed Ali would find himself in trouble in a boxing match, he would resort to the ol 'rope-a-dope'. He would put his back against the ropes and actually use those ropes to his advantage. This boxing technique illustrates a beautiful and powerful example of how we can survive even the hardest of times in our lives. There are times, like this last winter for me, when you feel like your back is against the ropes. You may feel cornered or trapped or helpless. Remember that even these feelings are okay! There is a song by Marc Cohn that goes: "I know there's always something we have to go through that has some deeper meaning but right now I just can't say. I know there's gonna be a lesson somewhere, I'm gonna think a lot about it later, but right now I'm miles away." Those two lyrical lines sum up the ol 'rope-a-dope' strategy for getting through a rough spot in life. You must always first be honest with yourself about it. Get mad! Go cry your eyes out! Complain and whine! I mean, hey, your back is against the ropes! *grin* But don't stay there in that place. It is too easy to allow ourselves to get caught in the pitfall of emotional upheaval. Bounce back! Duck, dart and dodge! Stand your ground! And maybe even take a swing back! Be sure that while you express your honest emotion, you make a deliberate, strong, silent note to yourself that you know that someday there will be a strength, a wisdom and a lesson that you gain from this life struggle. Then, when a bit of time has passed and you have allowed yourself to feel what you feel, you can begin to allow yourself to open to the insights and wisdoms you may have gained through your experience. I have heard the wind blowing in my ear, telling me that many others have experienced struggle this last winter in some way. Perhaps (and hopefully!) not all, but many. I wanted you to know that you are not alone! *wink* May we pray for each other, always. This I know.... Life, and all of its ups and downs, is always a mystery to be honored without knowing all the answers. (You may want to read that last sentence again....) It seems to me that something important, significant, or maybe just plain good, is about to happen. Something powerful.... In the world.... Or maybe just in my own life.... Or maybe both. Perhaps. It is, after all, the buffalo calving moon....
NORTH - Waziyata - White (Words of Wisdom)
May you take a moment to breathe in the cool morning air....
May you stop long enough to lean into the scent of a spring flower....
May the cardinal remind you that Spirit is with you, and you are loved....
May the hawk comfort you with the assurance that you are being looked after....
May the eagle inspire you to offer your prayers....
May the green grass tempt you to go barefoot....
May a warm rain soak you deep enough to touch your soul....
and may the sun caress your face with just enough warmth to help you keep on living....
Though life may bring us questions, struggles, mysteries and even pain, may we all know in the end that life was, and is, worth living....
I love you all, and pray that Spirit will bless you with strength, patience, wisdom, and an open mind and heart. May we all continue to learn.... May Wakantanka encircle you with faith to believe, hope for the future, and love for all....
In the spirit of mending the sacred hoop of the nations of the world,
Your Oglala Lakota brother and friend,
+ When you get to your wit's end, you'll find God lives there.
+ Some minds are like concrete, thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.
+ God grades on the cross, not the curve.
+ You can tell how big a person is by what it takes to discourage him.
+ Don't give God instructions -- just report for duty!
+ If God is your Copilot - swap seats!
+ God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.
Monday, March 29, 2004
>^..^< Cat friends! See and listen here.
>^..^< On Saturday, GOC posted a rerun of an essay from two years ago about "inconsistencies". Still good food for thought.
>^..^< Rivrdog thinks he may lose "a few readers" over this post. I can't imagine why, because his essay is lucid and well thought out.
>^..^< Billy Jones has some probing questions for George Bush. There are probing questions for both candidate, but today I didn't see a list for John Kerry.
>^..^< But Hank has a list of real estate tips.
>^..^< Cajun Guy (mostly) reminds us WHO WON.
>^..^< The Trunk Monkey may be hazardous to your underwear!!! Bwahahaha to Gordon.
>^..^< Another blogging musician.
>^..^< If you can get past the dangerous knife fight, Adam, the Un-Reconstructed Medic, is recommending Southern Heritage News and Views. This is new to me, but I'm going to give it a look-see.
>^..^< When the bovine excrement impacts the rotational air impeller machinery™ Trademarking this for Jim On The Sloop.
From Neptunus Lex, via Technicalities, here is an inspiring message from Commanding General of the 1st Marine Division, J.N. Mattis, to his Marines.
Letter to All Hands,
We are going back into the brawl. We will be relieving the magnificent
Soldiers fighting under the 82nd Airborne Division, whose hard won
successes in the Sunni Triangle have opened opportunities for us to
exploit. For the last year, the 82nd Airborne has been operating against
the heart of the enemy's resistance. It's appropriate that we relieve
them: When it's time to move a piano, Marines don't pick up the piano
bench - we move the piano. So this is the right place for Marines in
this fight, where we can carry on the legacy of Chesty Puller in the
Banana Wars in the same sort of complex environment that he knew in his
early years. Shoulder to shoulder with our comrades in the Army, Coalition
Forces and maturing Iraqi Security Forces, we are going to destroy the
enemy with precise firepower while diminishing the conditions that
create adversarial relationships between us and the Iraqi people.
This is going to be hard, dangerous work. It is going to require
patient, persistent presence. Using our individual initiative, courage,
moral judgment and battle skills, we will build on the 82nd Airborne's
victories. Our country is counting on us even as our enemies watch and
calculate, hoping that America does not have warriors strong enough to
withstand discomfort and danger. You, my fine young men, are going to
prove the enemy wrong - dead wrong. You will demonstrate the same
uncompromising spirit that has always caused the enemy to fear America's
The enemy will try to manipulate you into hating all Iraqis. Do not
allow the enemy that victory. With strong discipline, solid faith,
unwavering alertness, and undiminished chivalry to the innocent, we will
carry out this mission. Remember, I have added, "First, do no harm" to
our passwords of "No Better Friend, No Worse Enemy." Keep your honor
clean as we gain information about the enemy from the Iraqi people.
Then, armed with that information and working in conjunction with
fledgling Iraqi Security Forces, we will move precisely against the
enemy elements and crush them without harming the innocent.
This is our test-our Guadalcanal, our Chosin Reservoir, our Hue City.
Fight with a happy heart and keep faith in your comrades and your unit.
We must be under no illusions about the nature of the enemy and the
dangers that lie ahead. Stay alert, take it all in stride, remain
sturdy, and share your courage with each other and the world. You are
going to write history, my fine young Sailors and Marines, so write it
Major General, U. S. Marines
CHRISTIAN ONE LINERS
+ Don't put a question mark where God put a period.
+ Forbidden fruits create many jams.
+ God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.
+ Peace starts with a smile.
+ God loves everyone, but probably prefers "fruits of the spirit" over
Sunday, March 28, 2004
MINOR TRAVELING UNATTENDED
Right before the jetway door closed, I scrambled aboard the plane going from LA to Chicago, lugging my laptop and overstuffed briefcase. It was the first leg of an important business trip a few weeks before Christmas, and I was running late. I had a ton of work to catch up on. Half wishing, half praying I muttered, "Please God, do me a favor; let there be an empty seat next to mine, I don't need any distractions."
I was on the aisle in a two seat row. Across sat a businesswoman with her nose buried in a newspaper. No problem. But in the seat beside mine, next to the window, was a young boy wearing a big red tag around his neck: Minor Traveling Unattended. The kid sat perfectly still, hands in his lap, eyes straight ahead. He'd probably been told never to talk to strangers. Good, I thought.
Then the flight attendant came by. "Michael, I have to sit down because we're about to take off," she said to the little boy. "This nice man will answer any of your questions, okay?"
Did I have a choice? I offered my hand, and Michael shook it twice, straight up and down.
"Hi, I'm Jerry," I said. "You must be about seven years old."
"I'll bet you don't have any kids," he responded.
"Why do you think that? Sure I do." I took out my wallet to show him pictures.
"Because I'm six."
"I was way off, huh?"
The captain's voice came over the speakers, "Flight attendants, prepare for takeoff."
Michael pulled his seat belt tighter and gripped the armrests as the jet engines roared.
I leaned over, "Right about now, I usually say a prayer. I asked God to keep the plane safe and to send angels to protect us."
"Amen," he said, then added, "but I'm not afraid of dying. I'm not afraid because my mama's already in Heaven."
"I'm sorry." I said.
"Why are you sorry?" he asked, peering out the window as the plane lifted off.
"I'm sorry you don't have your mama here."
My briefcase jostled at my feet, reminding me of all the work I needed to do.
"Look at those boats down there!" Michael said as the plane banked over the Pacific. "Where are they going?"
"Just going sailing, having a good time. And there's probably a fishing boat full of guys like you and me."
"Doing what?" he asked.
"Just fishing, maybe for bass or tuna. Does your dad ever take you fishing?"
"I don't have a dad," Michael sadly responded.
Only six years old and he didn't have a dad, and his Mom had died, and here he was flying halfway across the country all by himself. The least I could do was make sure he had a good flight. With my foot I pushed my briefcase under my seat.
"Do they have a bathroom here?" he asked, squirming a little.
"Sure," I said, "let me take you there."
I showed him how to work the "Occupied" sign, and what buttons to push on the sink, then he closed the door. When he emerged, he wore a wet shirt and a huge smile
"That sink shoots water everywhere!"
The attendants smiled.
Michael got the VIP treatment from the crew during snack time. I took out my laptop and tried to work on a talk I had to give, but my mind kept going to Michael. I couldn't stop looking at the crumpled grocery bag on the floor by his seat. He'd told me that everything he owned was in that bag. Poor kid.
While Michael was getting a tour of the cockpit the flight attendant told me his grandmother would pick him up in Chicago. In the seat pocket a large manila envelope held all the paperwork regarding his custody. He came back explaining, "I got wings! I got cards! I got more peanuts. I saw the pilot and he said I could come back anytime!"
For a while he stared at the manila envelope.
"What are you thinking?" I asked Michael.
He didn't answer. He buried his face in his hands and started sobbing. It had been years since I'd heard a little one cry like that. My kids were grown -- still I don't think they'd ever cried so hard. I rubbed his back and wondered where the flight attendant was.
"What's the matter buddy?" I asked.
All I got were muffled words "I don't know my grandma. Mama didn't want her to come visit and see her sick. What if Grandma doesn't want me? Where will I go?"
"Michael, do you remember the Christmas story? Mary and Joseph and the baby Jesus? Remember how they came to Bethlehem just before Jesus was born? It was late and cold, and they didn't have anywhere to stay, no family, no hotels, not even hospitals where babies could be born. Well, God was watching out for them. He found them a place to stay; a stable with animals."
"Wait, wait," Michael tugged on my sleeve. "I know Jesus. I remember now." Then he closed his eyes, lifted his head and began to sing. His voice rang out with a strength that rocked his tiny frame. "Jeeesus looooves me--thiiiiiis I knowwwwwww. For the Biiiiiible tells meeeeee sooooo....."
Passengers turned or stood up to see the little boy who made the large sound. Michael didn't notice his audience. With his eyes shut tight and voice lifted high, he was in a good place.
"You've got a great voice," I told him when he was done. "I've never heard anyone sing like that."
"Mama said God gave me good pipes just like my grandma's," he said. "My grandma loves to sing, she sings in her church choir."
"Well, I'll bet you can sing there, too. The two of you will be running that choir."
The seat belt sign came on as we approached O'Hare. The flight attendant came by and said we just have a few minutes now, but she told Michael it's important that he put on his seat belt. People started stirring in their seats, like the kids before the final school bell. By the time the seat belt sign went off, passengers were rushing down the aisle. Michael and I stayed seated.
"Are you gonna go with me?" he asked.
"I wouldn't miss it for the world buddy!" I assured him.
Clutching his bag and the manila envelope in one hand, he grabbed my hand with the other. The two of us followed the flight attendant down the jetway. All the noises of the airport seemed to fill the corridor.
Michael stopped, flipping his hand from mine, he dropped to his knees. His mouth quivered. His eyes brimmed with tears.
"What's wrong Michael? I'll carry you if you want."
He opened his mouth and moved his lips, but it was as if his words were stuck in his throat. When I knelt next to him, he grabbed my neck. I felt his warm, wet face as he whispered in my ear, "I want my mama!"
I tried to stand, but Michael squeezed my neck even harder. Then I heard a rattle of footsteps on the corridor's metal floor.
"Is that you, baby?"
I couldn't see the woman behind me, but I heard the warmth in her voice.
"Oh baby," she cried. "Come here. Grandma loves you so much. I need a hug, baby. Let go of that nice man." She knelt beside Michael and me.
Michael's grandma stroked his arm. I smelled a hint of orange blossoms.
"You've got folks waiting for you out there, Michael. Do you know that you've got aunts, and uncles and cousins?"
She patted his skinny shoulders and started humming. Then she lifted her head and sang. I wondered if the flight attendant told her what to sing, or maybe she just knew what was right. Her strong, clear voice filled the passageway, "Jesus loves me -- this I know..."
Michael's gasps quieted. Still holding him, I rose, nodded hello to his grandma and watched her pick up the grocery bag. Right before we got to the doorway to the terminal, Michael loosened his grip around my neck and reached for his grandma.
As soon as she walked across the threshold with him, cheers erupted. From the size of the crowd, I figured family, friends, pastors, elders, deacons, choir members and most of the neighbors had come to meet Michael. A tall man tugged on Michael's ear and pulled off the red sign around his neck. It no longer applied.
As I made my way to the gate for my connecting flight, I barely noticed the weight of my overstuffed briefcase and laptop. I started to wonder who would be in the seat next to mine this time...And I smiled.
~By Jerry Seiden~
[thanks to Jimmy, Ayden, NC]
Friday, March 26, 2004
Just a few things - and all from my mailbox. Time would not allow enough chair-time for blogging today.
[The irony of the following email is that I received it from a Hispanic Marine friend! And he noted on it "love this!"
HASTA LA VISTA, BABY?
Always be careful what you ask for, you just may get it!!
One of the many headaches that the U. S. has had was the Puerto Rican Island of Vieques. In the waning years of the Clinton administration, protesters demanded that the US Navy abandon bombing and naval gun fire exercises that had taken place on the largely uninhabited island for nearly seventy years.
Liberal icons bumped into one another to fly to Puerto Rico, boat over to the island, to trespass (but never on a day that there was an exercise scheduled) and get arrested for the benefit of the New York Times or Newsweek. They included the Reverend Al Sharpton, Mrs. Jesse Jackson, Joan Baez, Robert F. Kennedy, Jr., Edward Olmos, Michael Moore and Ramsey Clark, just to name a few.
In 2002, the bombing exercises were transferred to an Air Force bombing range in central Florida, not far from the Jacksonville and Pensacola Naval Air Stations. In January, many of the protesters were back in Puerto Rico, celebrating the final bombing exercise on Vieques and waved Puerto Rican flags and placards that read "U.S. Navy, get out of Puerto Rico."
The following Feb, Rumsfeld announced that the U.S. Navy will close the Roosevelt Roads Naval Air Station in Puerto Rico in 2004, eliminating 1200 civilian jobs as well as 700 military positions. This naval facility is estimated to put nearly $300 million annually into the local economy.
The next day a stunned Governor Sila Calderon held a news conference in San Juan, protesting the base closure as a serious blow to Commonwealth's fragile economy. The governor stated that "The people of Puerto Rico don't now or never did have an interest in closing the Vieques bombing range or the Roosevelt Roads naval base. We are interested in both staying in Puerto Rico."
When asked, the Commander-in Chief, Western Atlantic Command, said,"Without Vieques, I see no further need for the facility at Roosevelt Roads; none." So, Yanqui go home? Fine; but we'll take our dollars with us. Hasta la vista, baby!
On February 21, the Secretary of Defense also announced that starting this year, the U.S. European Command would begin moving most if not all of its active combat and support units from bases in Germany to others being established in Poland, The Czech Republic, Hungary and Turkey to "better position them for rapid deployment to likely hot spots in those parts of the world".
Immediately the business and government leaders in the German states of Hesse, Rhineland and Wurttemburg, protested the loss of nearly $6 billion in revenue each year from the bases and manpower to be displaced. A spokesman for the Foreign Ministry speculated that the move may be "what the Americans call 'payback' for the actions of this government in opposing military action in Iraq." Does anyone know the German translation for "Hasta la vista, baby?"
Oh, ain't it nice to see a government with guts and a good memory. What fun!
I AM A TEACHER
I am a teacher . . . And I am tired.
> > politics, frustrated colleagues,
> > semiconscious students,
> > media hype and especially, ......I am tired of
> > parents who expect me to resolve their children's problems.
I simply do not have the answers.
I have tried everything...... I have hugged your child, listened to your child, bought supplies for your child, and reminded your child of the importance of getting an education ..... as well as the importance of caring about life with heart genuineness.
I have read......Theories on how to teach at-risk students. (this includes the entire student population, because "at-risk" is really defined as children growing up without parental supervision).
I have read....... theories on how to teach pregnant students, students on drugs, abused students, high-energy students, shy students, female students and male students.
I have...... attended conferences for ideas on how to teach hands-on activities, higher level thinking skills, cooperative learning groups, technology, standards-based education and numerous other strategies.
I have...... lain awake at night rolling over and over in my head solutions, and lamentations.
I have..... cried tears, trying to find the answers for motivating your child to have success in my classroom and in life.
I am a teacher.
I am not a doctor,
I am not a psychiatrist,
I am not a former drug addict.
I am not God, and.....
I am, emphatically and unequivocally, not your child's parent.
I am a teacher.
I am tired......
> of politicians blaming policy-makers,
> of state government blaming localities,
> of administration blaming central office
> of central office blaming school board
> of school board blaming city council, and........
> everyone blaming teachers.
But I have to tell you..... the students who have success in my classroom are the ones whose parents I have met at every open house and on every parent/teacher conference day. So, please, do not tell me that educators are the solution.
The solution.... the power and the state of your child's welfare lie in your hands. Not in mine, but in the hands of you, the parent. And if you don't want to lose another educator who cares, who sweats, who encourages your child.....then I suggest you get to your child's school and make education matter in your child's life.
Because I am a *teacher*!
Written by a TEACHER in the Jacksonville Florida Public School System
>^..^< Received this today from a fan.
>^..^< Lets all listen to this at least one time, so we don't forget......I Pledge Allegiance -- By Red Skelton
>^..^< And for those who think they know it all already, when you get HERE you will be correct!
+ I don't know why some people change churches; what difference does it make which one you stay home from?
+ A lot of church members who are singing "Standing on the Promises" are just sitting on the premises.
+ We were called to be witnesses, not lawyers or judges.
+ To make a long story short - just don't tell it.
+ Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.
Thursday, March 25, 2004
Good ole Blogger published Mea Culpa (below) as before midnight, 3/24/04, Wednesday. The clock has been corrected (I hope) and as you can see it's actually THURSDAY.
Wednesday, March 24, 2004
(but not much!)
It seems I'm being chastised for not saying nice things about John Kerry on my blog. Truth is, I don't know many nice things about John Kerry. I hear lots of not-so-nice things about John Kerry that I do not mention on my blog, as well as not-so-nice things about George Bush that I do not mention. It's not my job to campaign here at Indigo Insights for either candidate. That said, I guess I'll just continue to link to other interesting bloggers who promote the man of their choice, and allow Indigo readers to evaluate and decide for themselves. My druthers would be a president who has the best interests of our military at heart. Our military men and women make it possible for the rest of us to continue to disagree and debate. Three great grandchildren make "peace" my greatest hope for the future - and that they will be speaking English when they give their graduation speeches.
I hopped out with my rifle to keep an eye on two large groups of men who seemed to be approaching us. I walked about twenty feet, then turned to my left to see what the man next to me was doing. That's when I realized there was nobody next to me, no one whose lead I could follow. I was by myself.
During our first conversation about going to Iraq, Kelly and I had talked about situations like this. It's one thing to believe in the principle of self-defense. Most people do. It's quite another to make the conscious decision to kill someone. Kelly had made it clear that I'd have to decide ahead of time whether I'd be willing. "Final confirmation of an attack usually comes in the form of injury to you," he'd said. "If you feel threatened, engage, up to and including lethal force." Survival means acting first. Hesitation equals death.
Read about USA "hired guns" in this lengthy, but edge-of-the-seat, "you are there" article by Tucker Carlson, writing about his trip to Baghdad as a civilian contractor. Thanks to Rivrdog for link.
>^..^< Nothing nice about Kerry here - so don't go there looking. But the pic does show his index finger bent instead of pointing and is much less intimidating! Link from Jen Martinez.
>^..^< Michael King is Rambling about something OTHER THAN Bush and Kerry -- so get over there ASAP. He says it's "Rambling". I say it's good sense. But I must remember to tell you, that's just MHO. WARNING: Do not continue to read past Professional Whining & Extortion for Fun and Profit or you will run into Bush/Kerry stuff.
>^..^< Wampum makes his points without sarcasm or mean-spirited name-calling. I can relate to that.
>^..^< Following excerpts from DU, Donnie says "I really want an interesting race this November, not a landslide for George Bush."
>^..^< Say Uncle is "Blogging About Blogging" and I wish someone had told me these things two years ago.
>^..^< Billy says: "War is a nasty business, but no matter which side you're on politically, I hope you'll do your part to support the fine young men and women of our military. One way you can help our Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen, Marines, and National Guard volunteers is by donating books and/or money to BooksForSoldiers.com." Visit the link and see how easy it is to help.
>^..^< LaShawn Barber knocks it out of the park yet again with Gospel of Oppression, and uses the famous quote from Booker T. Washington, also featured on The Mulatto Advocate.
>^..^< And I have to read Phllip Coons' blog to learn about this NC anomaly happening only 45 miles from where I live!!!! Unmarried Parents May Be Forced to Split
Two Iraqi spies met in a busy restaurant after they had successfully slipped into the U.S. The first spy starts addressing the other in Arabic. The second spy shushes him quickly and whispers, "Don't blow our cover! You're in America now! Speak Spanish."
[thanks to Jimmy, Ayden, NC]
GRAND THEFT, BLOG
Baldilocks' post of March 23 is a "must read.' And the following comment from one of her readers is a "must steal" - in toto. Gratifying to have my admiration for Mark Twain confirmed!
Geeze, I think this is the first time I've agreed with everybody on a comments listing. I never understood why we rolled over for Mao on the "one China" issue and removed support from Taiwan and helped put them out of the U.N. (which may not necessarilly be a bad thing for them).
The French seem to labor to prove Mark Twain right:
"France has usually been governed by prostitutes."
- Notebook #18, Feb.- Sept. 1879
"France has neither winter nor summer nor morals--apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country."
- Mark Twain's Notebook
"There is nothing lower than the human race except the French."
- quoted by Carl Dolmetsch, Our Famous Guest
"In certain public indecencies the difference between a dog & a Frenchman is not perceptible."
- Notebook #17, October 1878 - February 1879
"A dead Frenchman has many good qualities, many things to recommend him; many attractions--even innocencies. Why cannot we have more of these?"
- Notebook #20, Jan. 1882 - Feb. 1883
It seems that some things never change.
I understand that the French are discussing having their next nuclear aircraft carrier build by the British. The one they have, "Charles de Gaulle", is not only a floating wreck, it has insufficient shielding in the reactor spaces and exposes the crew to something like five times the maximum levels of radiation.
Perhaps they could design in a glass bottom for viewing the past French fleets.
You're right, Louis. You are the first person I recall mentioning that "our oldest friend" is also our oldest enemy. They inspired the creation of the U.S. Navy and the U.S. Marines with their undeclared war.
Posted by: StinKerr | March 24, 2004 12:36 AM
Thumbs up, StinKerr. Will be watching for more of your comments.
>^..^< He's baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!!!
>^..^< Thomas A. Lipscomb, New York Sun: Kerry’s Campaign Asked a Veteran to Change Story. Link from blogoSFERICS.
>^..^< Thanks, RC. Intimidation is a bad feeling! LOL
- KID STUFF -
I was testing the children in my Sunday school class to see
if they understood the concept of getting to heaven.
I asked them, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big
garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would
that get me into Heaven?"
"NO!" the children answered.
"If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and
kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me into Heaven?"
Again, the answer was, "NO!"
By now I was starting to smile. Hey, this was fun!
"Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to
all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me
into Heaven?" I asked them again.
Again, they all answered, "NO!"
I was just bursting with pride for them.
Well, I continued, "then how can I get into Heaven?"
A five-year-old boy shouted out,
"YOU GOTTA BE DEAD."
[thanks to Don, in the mountains of Virginia]
MORE FROM TWISTED STEVEN WRIGHT
*****Two babies were born on the same day at the same hospital. They lay there and looked at each other. Their families came and took them away. Eighty years later, by a bizarre coincidence, they lay in the same hospital, on their deathbeds, next to each other. One of them looked at the other and said, "So. What did you think?"
*****I wrote a song, but I can't read music so I don't know what it is. Every once in a while I'll be listening to the radio and I say, "I think I might have written that."
*****[Referring to a glass of water:] I mixed this myself. Two parts H, one part O. I don't trust anybody!
*****I went to this restaurant last night that was set up like a big buffet in the shape of a Ouija board. You'd think about what kind of food you want, and the table would move across the floor to it.
*****I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specific.
Tuesday, March 23, 2004
>^..^< The highlight of my week came on Monday!!! What a proud moment to see Indigo Insights listed at Iraq War News.
>^..^< Looks like the Idle Hands person (gender?) has had busy hands lately.
>^..^< S-Train waxes philosophical on the evil around us: "While there is evil in the world, I am very concerned that we are using evil too much to describe people . . ." Good read.
>^..^< Telling about lies. I haven't read all of this yet, but it looks like Franken may have some 'splaining to do - or at least verifying.
>^..^< Hey Dog People! Here's an interesting blog to browse. Everything you'd ever want to know about dog stuff is here - when the site is working. Catherine says they have been victims of "malicious attacks" (probably from cats!) and they are working on getting everything going right again.
>^..^< "We want to revitalize the Republican party with the energy of a younger generation that doesn’t see conforming to the ‘image’ of a Republican as necessary." HUH?
>^..^< Yes, I know. Day by Day can be seen on many other blogs. Here, you have to click this link! DO IT.
>^..^< For your daily fix of Kerry's Index Finger, see Greene Thoughts. There you can also learn the latest on how the "Bushitas" distort the "facts". For those who disdain Bush-Bashing, remember the advice about learning what's going on in your enemy's camp? LOL
THINGS I LEARNED FROM MY KITTY [ >^..^< ]
Curiosity never killed anything,
except maybe a few hours.
Variety is the spice of life:
one day ignore people, the next day annoy them.
Climb your way to the top,
that's why the drapes are there.
If you're not receiving enough attention,
try knocking over some very expensive antique lamps.
When eating out,
think nothing of sending back your meal
twenty or thirty times.
When in doubt, cop an attitude.
Make your mark in the world,
or at least spray in each corner.
Never sleep alone
when you can sleep on someone's face.
Find your place in the sun,
especially if it happens to be on that
nice pile of warm, clean laundry.
Always give generously,
a small bird or rodent left on the bed
tells them "I care" -
When you go out in the world, remember:
being placed on a pedestal is a right,
not a privilege.
PRAYER FOR A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY
With thanksgiving and love that you have been given to be a part of our heart and of our family, we celebrate this day of your birth, beautiful child, delightful spirit.
May you have a year full of joy and may your prodigious talents, like arrows, find their true mark through a long life in this world.
-- Daphne Rose Kingma
+ People are funny: They want the front of the bus, the middle of
the road and the back of the church.
+ Opportunity may knock once but temptation leans on the bell.
+ Quit griping about your church; if it was perfect, you couldn't belong.
+ If the church wants a better minister, it only needs to pray for the one it has.
+ God Himself does not propose to judge a man until he is dead
--so why should you?
Monday, March 22, 2004
>^..^< There's just nothing sweeter than an accolade from someone you admire. Sunday's essay shows why the admiration is so deserved. And THIS reminder from her post should never be forgotten. Please save and view it regularly. Never forget.
>^..^< Hank, over at Federal Review, wonders if the Kerrys are jerks!!! I wonder why he would wonder that.
>^..^< Here's an intriguing and possibly revealing self-test: What's Your Spiritual Type?
>^..^< Tell me here: indigoinsights[at]hotmail[dot]com
Billy the Blogging Poet™ has posted so beautifully about Spring in North Carolina, I needn't type a word. Here's Billy's paragraph:
"Compared to much of the world, Spring comes early to the Carolinas. The spring winds blow in a whole new season filled with emerging life, new lives and newly returned lives like the many birds who come home to nest, the daffodils pushing themselves up from their bulbs buried just inches below the surface of the earth, or tulips, their little blooms facing upward until growth causes their own weight to cause them to bow their heads as if they were paying homage to the goddess Spring herself."
TWENTY SPECIAL 'SOUTHERNISMS'
1.) Only a true Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit and that you don't "HAVE" them, -- you "PITCH" them.
2.) Only a true Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc. make up "a mess."
3.) Only a true Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."
4.) Only a true Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, as in: "Going to town, be back directly."
5.) All true Southerners, even babies, know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl on the middle of the table.
6.) All true Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
7.) Only a true Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. (If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin'!)
8.) Only true Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
9.) Only a true Southerner both knows and understands the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
10.) No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
11.) A true Southerner knows that "fixin'" can be used as a noun (i.e. chicken and all the "fixins"), a verb (I'm fixin it.), or an adverb (I'm fixin to go to town, wanna go?).
12.) Only a true Southerner knows that the term "booger" can be a resident of the nose, a descriptive, as in "that ol' booger," a first name, or something that jumps out at you in the dark and scares you senseless.
13.) Only true Southerners make friends while standing in lines. We don't do "queues", we do "lines," and when we're "in line," we talk to everybody!
14.) Put 100 true Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.
15.) True Southerners never refer to more than one person as "y'all".....it's "all y'all".
16.) True Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
17.) Every true Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that redeye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
18.) When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
19.) Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet Milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it - we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
20.) And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, "Bless her heart" and go your own way.
+ Don't let your worries get the best of you - remember, Moses started out as a basket case.
+ Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited until you try to sit in their pews.
+ Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisers.
WORK PLACE HUMOR
=== Half Price ===
US Air recently introduced a special half fare for wives who accompanied their husbands on business trips. Expecting valuable testimonials, the PR department sent out letters to all the wives of businessmen who had used the special rates, asking how they enjoyed their trip. Letters are still pouring in asking, "What trip?"
=== Life After Death ===
"Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees. "Yes, Sir," the new employee replied. "Well, then, that makes everything just fine," the boss went on. "After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you!"
MORE FROM TWISTED STEVEN WRIGHT
*****The sign said "eight items or less". So I changed my name to Les.
*****Yesterday I saw a chicken crossing the road. I asked it why. It told me it was none of my business.
*****I went to a haunted house, looked under the kitchen table, and found spirit gum.
*****I had my coathangers spayed.
*****I took lessons in bicycle riding. But I could only afford half of them. Now I can ride a unicycle.
*****I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.
*****Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen.
Sunday, March 21, 2004
A young and very successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood street. He was going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar. He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something. As his car passed no children appeared, instead, a brick smashed into the Jag's side door! He slammed on the brakes, spun the Jag back to the spot from where the brick had been thrown.
He jumped out of the car, grabbed some kid and pushed him up against a parked car, shouting,
"What was that all about and who are you? Just what the heck are you doing?"
Building up a head of steam, he went on. "That's a new car and that brick you threw is gonna cost you a lot of money. Why did you do it?"
"Please, mister, please, I'm sorry! I didn't know what else to do!" pleaded the youngster.
"I threw the brick because no one else would stop"
Tears were dripping down the boy's chin as he pointed around the parked car.
"It's my brother," he said. "He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up."
Sobbing, the boy asked the executive, "Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me."
Moved beyond words, the driver tried desperately to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. Straining, he lifted the young man back into the wheelchair and took out his handkerchief and wiped the scrapes and cuts, checking to see that everything was going to be okay.
"Thank you, sir! God bless you!"
He then watched the boy push his brother down the sidewalk toward their home. It was a long walk back to his Jaguar, a long and slow walk. He never did repair the side door.
He kept the dent to remind him not to go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention.
Life whispers in your soul and speaks to your heart. Sometimes, when you don't have the time to listen... Life throws a brick at your head. It's your choice: Listen to the whispers of your soul or wait for the brick...
Saturday, March 20, 2004
>^..^< Larry, the Cable Guy would really like this, McGehee: Freedom Isn't Free -- But It Sure Is Fun
>^..^< "Serious Issue In Kerry's Past" -- The Monkey Man is watching this story develop. Interesting, to say the least. Linked from Say Uncle.
>^..^< "The Only Easy Day Was Yesterday" caught my eye at Chaos Central,, since I recognized it as the signature of my Navy SEAL friend. Go over and read this tribute to USA's SEALS.
>^..^< "They have a saying in the news business," Geraldo Rivera related this week. "Reporters don't report buildings that don't burn." Read the entire article by Mark Davis here.
>^..^< "A special property of the vernal equinox allows eggs to be balanced on end that day." Snopes says FALSE!
THINK ABOUT THIS..
A. The number of physicians in the US is 700,000.
B. Accidental deaths caused by Physicians per year is = 120,000.
C. Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171.
(US Dept of Health & Human Services)
Then think about this:
A. The number of gun owners in the US is 80,000,000.
B. The number of accidental gun deaths per year is 1,500.
C. The number of accidental deaths per gun owner 0.0000188.
Statistically then, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners.
FACT: NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN, BUT ALMOST EVERYONE HAS AT LEAST ONE DOCTOR.
Please alert your friends to this alarming threat.
We must ban doctors before this gets out of hand.
As a public health measure, I have withheld the statistics on
lawyers for fear that the shock could cause people to seek medical attention.
This "joke", is no joke, these are straight facts.
[Note: Eric says this is a favorite in his family of 'carriers'. I try and I try, but I can't tell that guy anything new about guns!!]
A little boy comes home from school and asks his mother for some ice cream.
The mother is having a bad day and snaps, "NO!". The little boy turns and runs into his room.
After a minute, the mother feels bad that she snapped and knocks on his door.
"Johnny, I'm sorry I snapped at you. Do you want to play a game or something?"
"Sure," Johnny replies. "How about we play Mommy and Daddy?"
"OK," says the mother. "How do we play?"
"You go upstairs and lay down on your bed."
The mother figures this is harmless, so she agrees and goes upstairs.
Meanwhile, Johnny rummages through the closet and finds his dad's hat and coat.
He digs in the ashtray to find a long cigarette butt.
After dressing and putting the cigarette in his mouth, he swaggers up the stairs.
There, on the bed, is his mother.
Johnny marches in, walks up to the bed, and says,
"Get your a$$ out of bed and get that kid some ice cream!"
[thanks to John, New Jersey]
Friday, March 19, 2004
>^..^< Gobs and gobs of gratitude to the Lady Down South who fixed the right margin on this disaster called Indigo Insights. It's bread, Brenda. It's bread!
>^..^< Thankfully, Serenity is almost fully recovered. You didn't know? See Thursday's Hell and Handbaskets to remove all doubt!!!
>^..^< LaShawn Barber opines on The "Best Black" Syndrome.
>^..^< Black Five features vet comments about the President that spotlight what military personnel thinks.
>^..^< Can't for the life of me figure out why such a nice lady wants to be called "The Grouchy Old Yorkie Lady", but nevertheless, she deserves some kudos for her dedication to sticking on her diet! I'm not even all that grouchy and I can't stick to one!
>^..^< The Command Post is celebrating its One Year Anniversary. Go over and thank them for a year of good work.
>^..^< I keep forgetting to remind ya'll that the Spud Man is at a new location. OK. That's it.
>^..^< To see Alterman - Miller debacle go here.
>^..^< Operational again: indigoinsights[at]hotmail[dot]com
IT IS always a temptation to an armed and agile nation,
To call upon a neighbour and to say:—
“We invaded you last night—we are quite prepared to fight,
Unless you pay us cash to go away.”
And that is called asking for Dane-geld,
And the people who ask it explain
That you’ve only to pay ’em the Dane-geld
And then you’ll get rid of the Dane!
It is always a temptation to a rich and lazy nation,
To puff and look important and to say:—
“Though we know we should defeat you, we have not the time to meet you.
We will therefore pay you cash to go away.”
And that is called paying the Dane-geld;
But we’ve proved it again and again,
That if once you have paid him the Dane-geld
You never get rid of the Dane.
It is wrong to put temptation in the path of any nation,
For fear they should succumb and go astray,
So when you are requested to pay up or be molested,
You will find it better policy to say:—
“We never pay any one Dane-geld,
No matter how trifling the cost,
For the end of that game is oppression and shame,
And the nation that plays it is lost!”
[Thanks to TacJammer]
PRAYER FOR ANIMALS
Hear our humble prayer, O God, for our friends the animals,
especially for animals who are suffering;
for animals that are overworked, underfed and cruelly treated;
for all wistful creatures in captivity that beat their wings against bars;
for any that are hunted or lost or deserted or frightened or hungry;
for all that must be put death.
We entreat for them all Thy mercy and pity,
and for those who deal with them we ask a heart of compassion
and gentle hands and kindly words.
Make us, ourselves, to be true friends to animals,
and so to share the blessings of the merciful.
~~ Albert Schweitzer
[In response to Phillip Coons' post]
FROM THE ARCHIVES
Monday, February 04, 2002
Native American Wisdom
We are all equals in an unequal world.
We can not change the way the world works. I don't know why people can not accept that others are different from themselves and appreciate the differences for what they are.
Marsha Freeman, Student Witness
Wounded Knee, Rosebud, SD
[In response to Serenity's post]
Thursday, March 18, 2004
>^..^< "Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they've made a difference. The Marines don't have that problem." -Author UnKnown
>^..^< There can't possibly be anyone over 18 who hasn't already heard this one - - - but just in case children are surfing, see here.
>^..^< Prayer for Peace for the Victims of the Attack in Madrid
I asked God to take away my habit.-
God said, No.-
It is not for me to take away, but for you to give it up.-
I asked God to make my handicapped child whole.-
God said, No.-
His spirit is whole, his body is only temporary.-
I asked God to grant me patience.-
God said, No.-
Patience is a byproduct of tribulations;
it isn't granted, it is learned.-
I asked God to give me happiness.-
God said, No.-
I give you blessings; Happiness is up to you.-
I asked God to spare me pain.-
God said, No.-
Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares
and brings you closer to me.-
I asked God to make my spirit grow.-
God said, No.-
You must grow on your own! ,
but I will prune you to make you fruitful.-
I asked God for all things that I might enjoy life.-
God said, No.-
I will give you life, so that you may enjoy all things.-
I asked God to help me LOVE others, as much as He loves me.-
God said..-.Ahhhh, - finally you have the idea.
[Thanks to Christina, Swansboro, NC]
Wednesday, March 17, 2004
>^..^< Plea to Serenity: Please allow your blog to be pasted! I wanted so badly to paste your entire post of yesterday (First U.S. Civilians Killed in Iraq) but it wouldn't work for me. Plea to my readers: Please go to Serenity's post here and follow the Zangas In Iraq link. This is up close and personal, folks. Forward the link to your address book, if you can.
>^..^< Congratulations to my buds at McGehee blogoSFERICS and Baldilocks for making "The most influential reporters and bloggers on the web" list. See all the Top Authors here.
>^..^< I'm a blog-surfer. I like to read other people's opinions on various subjects - newsworthy and otherwise. Some of them are so passionate, however, after reading their offerings, I need somewhere to go for R&R. Cait the Cat is my R&R blog. Cait is soothing and comfortable. Ergo, Caiterwauling is a PSA and should have a tax deduction!
>^..^< It's possible I may be the only living person in the country who missed Band of Brothers. Logistics prevented my viewing the highly acclaimed production, and I have been wishing it would come on tv. Well, it will be on tv Sunday, April 11, at 9:00, on the History Channel. I have marked my calendar. If any of you readers know of other recluses and/or hermits who may not have seen Band of Brothers, do them a favor and alert them to April 11.
>^..^< Ramblings' Journal: "Politically incorrect thoughts from the edge of Michael King's conservative black mind" -- Just discovered a few days ago. Go check it out. Note: Any blogger who features Damon of Day by Day is already on my "must read" list.
>^..^< Hope Chuck meets someone on the water he wants to impress. 2 kewl!
>^..^< If you like St. Patrick's Day jokes, and would like enough on hand to last until next year's St. Patrick's Day, Boy! Oh Boy! Does Greene Thoughts have a link for you!!
>^..^< It seems Donnie has the same bone to pick with Bush that I do!
>^..^< A puzzlement: If Yellow Dog and his "group of highly trained attack dogs " can locate Osama, how come the Bush folks are having such difficulty?
MORE FROM TWISTED STEVEN WRIGHT
*****"Did you sleep well?" "No, I made a couple of mistakes."
*****I have two very rare photographs. One is a picture of Houdini locking his keys in his car. The other is a rare photograph of Norman Rockwell beating up a child.
*****I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
*****I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums.
*****When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving.
*****When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?"
*****If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?
*****If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?
TIME GETS BETTER WITH AGE
Read it through to the end, it gets better as you go!
~~ Age 5 -- I've learned that I like my teacher because she cries when we sing "Silent Night".
~~ Age 7 -- I've learned that our dog doesn't want to eat my broccoli either.
~~ Age 9 -- I've learned that when I wave to people in the country, they stop what they are doing and wave back.
~~ Age 12 -- I've learned that just when I get my room the way I like it, Mom makes me clean it up again.
~~ Age 14 -- I've learned that if you want to cheer yourself up, you should try cheering someone else up.
~~ Age 15 -- I've learned that although it's hard to admit it, I'm secretly glad my parents are strict with me.
~~ Age 24 -- I've learned that silent company is often more healing than words of advice.
~~ Age 26 -- I've learned that brushing my child's hair is one of life's great pleasures.
~~ Age 29 -- I've learned that wherever I go, the world's worst drivers have followed me there.
~~ Age 30 -- I've learned that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live so that no one will believe it.
~~ Age 42 -- I've learned that there are people who love you dearly but just don't know how to show it.
~~ Age 44 -- I've learned that you can make some one's day by simply sending them a little note.
~~ Age 46 -- I've learned that the greater a person's sense of guilt, the greater his or her need to cast blame on others.
~~ Age 47 -- I've learned that children and grandparents are natural allies.
~~ Age 48 -- I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.
~~ Age 49 -- I've learned that singing "Amazing Grace" can lift my spirits for hours.
~~ Age 50 -- I've learned that motel mattresses are better on the side away from the phone.
~~ Age 51 -- I've learned that you can tell a lot about a man by the way he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.
~~ Age 52 -- I've learned that keeping a vegetable garden is worth a medicine cabinet full of pills.
~~ Age 53 -- I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you miss them terribly after they die.
~~ Age 58 -- I've learned that making a living is not the same thing as making a life.
~~ Age 61 -- I've learned that if you want to do something positive for your children, work to improve your marriage.
~~ Age 62 -- I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.
~~ Age 64 -- I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catchers mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back.
~~ Age 65 -- I've learned that if you pursue happiness, it will elude you. But if you focus on your family, the needs of others, your work, meeting new people, and doing the very best you can, happiness will find you.
~~ Age 66 -- I've learned that whenever I decide something with kindness, I usually make the right decision.
~~ Age 72 -- I've learned that everyone can use a prayer.
~~ Age 82 -- I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.
~~ Age 90 -- I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love that human touch - holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.
~~ Age 92 -- I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.
Tuesday, March 16, 2004
>^..^< Rivrdog says "This story is amazing, if true. Amazing because it shows that 9-11 WAS easily preventable."
>^..^< La Shawn cuts right to the chase with "Wake me up when it's over."
>^..^< It reappeared as mysteriously as it disappeared! Current status of email: Bring it on! indigoinsights[at]hotmail[dot]com
>^..^< I have restrained myself from contacting SPCA on this latest Chuck obsession. You read. You decide.
>^..^< Two words: TacJammer and Betsy.
>^..^< To assure that Liberals will see Greene, instead of red: WHOMP! And while Bubba cannot say even one charitable thing about Bush, I do have something nice to say about Kerry: He has a lovely index finger.
There is a new virus circulating. It is called "WORK".
If you receive WORK from your colleagues, your boss, or from anyone else, do not touch it under any circumstances. This virus wipes out your private life completely. If you should happen to come in contact with this virus, take two friends and go straight to the nearest bar. Order drinks immediately and after three rounds, you will find that WORK has been completely deleted from your
Forward this virus warning immediately to at least five friends. Should you realize you do not have five friends, this means you are already infected by this virus and WORK already controls your life. If this is the case, go to the nearest bar and stay until you make at least five friends. Then retry.
I think I have five friends, but am not entirely positive, so I'm headed for the bar anyway.....it never hurts to be safe.
[Dedicated to some good buddies. You know who you are!]
Walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional five months in a nursing home at $5000 per month.
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. Now she's 97 and we don't know where the hell she is.
The only reason I'd take up exercising is so I could hear heavy breathing again.
I joined a health club last year, spent about $400. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there.
I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.
I like long walks, especially when they're taken by people who annoy me.
I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.
If you're going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country
[Wish I could remember which old geezer sent me this, but I can't. That's why I've posted it under "Senior Moments."]
Monday, March 15, 2004
>^..^< HAPPY BIRTHDAY S-TRAIN!!!
>^..^< First thing I ever won!! The honor of being Eric's 1400th commenter. Good for me!!!
>^..^< My sentiments EXACTLY!!!
>^..^< Stoney, over at Rebel Yell, puts in a good word for The Thin Blue Line. He's right. They deserve a kudo once in a while - overdue, in fact.
>^..^< Everytime I take one of these tests, I think "naaaaaaaaaa", can't be. Because I test positive for everything!!! (Greene Thoughts alert!) Dueddersun thinks he and I are "diametrically opposed." Well, heck D, I'm apparently diametrically opposed to everybody!!
>^..^< Thanks to Jimspot for the link, as well as his commentary on the moving post at A Small Victory. Parents of all ages, as well as those about to be parents, need to read this for yourselves and your children.
>^..^< Army of One directs readers to a link that could possibly save your life. Here.
>^..^< Possum Man passes on a warning: Toilet seats are cleaner than keyboards or telephone dials. AND DON'T YOU FORGET IT!!! (Remember who used your keyboard last? ewww - I just remembered!)
Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?
Is there ever a day when mattresses are NOT on sale?
Considering all the lint you get in your dryer, if you kept drying your clothes would they just eventually disappear?
Is it true that the only difference between a yard sale and a trash pickup is how close to the road the stuff is placed?
In winter, why do we keep the house as warm as it was in the summer when we complained about the heat?
If diamonds are a girl's best friend, and a dog is man's best friend, who is really the dumber sex?
Why are the needy only thought of during the holidays? Aren't they just as needy during the rest of the year?
How come we never hear any father-in-law jokes?
Why do men forget everything and women remember everything?
If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife told you the first time?
Is the real reason women live longer than men because they don't have to live with women?
[thanks to John, New Jersey]
Sunday, March 14, 2004
Beliefnet has become an inspiration and a revelation to me. The endless links available on this site for guidance and enlightenment have kept me enthralled before my computer for hours. In reading Morning Prayers, a spiritual flash (some may call an epiphany) seemed to envelop my thoughts and emotions. Clarity never before experienced and answers never before revealed came to me as I read the following prayers of morning worship from diverse worshippers. It is my hope and prayer that you who read these dissimilar, yet similar, supplications will experience a meaningful revelation as well. God truly works in mysterious ways.
O God, early in the morning I cry to you.
Help me to pray
And to concentrate my thoughts on you:
I cannot do this alone.
In me there is darkness,
But with you there is light;
I am lonely, but you do not leave me;
I am feeble in heart, but with you there is help;
I am restless, but with you there is peace.
In me there is bitterness, but with you there is patience;
I do not understand your ways,
But you know the way for me…
Restore me to liberty,
And enable me to live now
That I may answer before you and before me.
Lord, whatever this day may bring,
Your name be praised.
With every breath I take today,
I vow to be awake;
And every step I take,
I vow to take with a grateful heart--
So I may see with eyes of love
into the hearts of all I meet,
To ease their burden when I can
And touch them with a smile of peace.
Grandfather, Great Spirit you have been always,
And before you nothing has been.
There is no one to pray to but you.
The star nations all over the heavens are yours,
And yours are the grasses of the earth.
Grandfather, Great Spirit, fill us with the light.
Teach us to walk the soft earth as relatives to all that live.
Help us, for without you we are nothing.
~ Black Elk
O Great Spirit, whose Voice I hear in the Winds,
Hear me -- for I am small and weak:
I need Your Strength and Wisdom.
I seek Strength, O Great One, not to be superior to my Brothers --
But to conquer my greatest enemy: Myself.
I seek Wisdom: the Lessons You have hidden
In every Leaf and Rock so that I may learn
And carry these messages of Life and Hope to my People.
May my hands respect the many beautiful things You have made;
May my ears be sharp - to hear Your voice.
May I always walk in Your beauty;
And let my eyes behold the red and purple Sunset
So that when Life fades with the setting Sun,
My Spirit will come to You without shame.
My Heavenly Father, I thank You, through Jesus Christ, Your beloved Son, that You kept me safe from all evil and danger last night. Save me, I pray, today as well, from every evil and sin, so that all I do and the way that I live will please you. I put myself in your care, body and soul and all that I have. Let Your holy Angels be with me, so that the evil enemy will not gain power over me. Amen.
~ Martin Luther
We have awoken, and all of creation has awoken, for Allah, Lord of all the Worlds. Allah, I ask You for the best the day has to offer, victory, support, light, blessings and guidance; and I seek refuge in You from the evil in it, and the evil to come after it.
This is the day that the Lord has made;
let us rejoice and be glad in it.
I am thankful before You,
Living and Sustaining Ruler,
Who returned my soul to me with mercy.
Your faithfulness is great.
Look to this day!
For it is life, the very life of life.
In its brief course
Lie all the verities and realities of your existence:
The bliss of growth;
The glory of action;
The splendor of achievement;
For yesterday is but a dream,
And tomorrow is only a vision;
But today, well lived, makes every yesterday
a dream of happiness,
And every tomorrow a vision of hope.
And this seems to be an appropriate ending for the above thoughts in Morning Prayers. Please link here - with speakers.
Friday, March 12, 2004
>^..^< Yes, McGehee, if the reparation checks are going out alphabetically, I'll have to wait a while, but I want mine too!!!
>^..^< Anybody know where "Her" is these days?
>^..^< Another week has passed, and if the election were held today, Yellow Dog would still get my vote!!! The reason probably being that he doesn't growl so visciously over his bones as some others. I'm already S&T of vituperations. Yellow Dog conveys his stance with a sense of humor in lieu of venom. Just MO.
>^..^< If you don't know La Shawn Barber, then you really have no idea what a treat you're missing. She's what's happening, knowledgeable, and too cute to be staying indoors blogging!!! Check her out here and then get up to date with her. (no pun intended!)
>^..^< Always wished I had a brother.
>^..^< Baldilocks has contact information for condolences to the Spanish Embassy.
>^..^< Another day, another plethora of links to read at Betsy's Page. I don't know when this woman sleeps!
>^..^< The Deuddersun Dude has started his own blog!! He's wanting opinions. Go see.
>^..^< Reality Check links to one representative story of our wounded heroes. Read the article here. And remember it!
>^..^< Looks like the cat will get fed this week. Did you send any Purina?
>^..^< Need to know how to drive a tank? Learn here.
Thursday, March 11, 2004
SAN FRANCISCO LOGIC
( A scene at City Hall in San Francisco )
"Good morning. We want to apply for a marriage license."
"Tim and Jim Jones."
"Jones? Are you related? I see a resemblance."
"Yes, we're twin brothers."
"Brothers? You can't get married."
"Why not? Aren't you giving marriage licenses to same gender couples?"
"Yes, thousands. But we haven't had any siblings. That's incest!"
"Incest? No, we are not gay."
"Not gay? Then why do you want to get married?"
"For the financial benefits, of course. And we do love each other. Besides, we don't have any other prospects."
"But we're issuing marriage licenses to gay and lesbian couples who've been denied equal protection under the law. If you are not gay, you can get married to a woman."
"Wait a minute. A gay man has the same right to marry a woman as I have. But just because I'm straight doesn't mean I want to marry a woman. I want to marry Jim."
"And I want to marry Tim. Are you going to discriminate against us just because we are not gay?"
"All right, all right. I'll give you your license. Next."
"Hi. We are here to get married."
"John Smith, Jane James, Robert Green, and June Johnson."
"Who wants to marry whom?"
"We all want to marry each other."
"But there are four of you!"
"That's right. You see, we're all bisexual. I love Jane and Robert, Jane loves me and June, June loves Robert and Jane, and Robert loves June and me. All of us getting married together is the only way that we can express our sexual preferences in a marital relationship."
"But we've only been granting licenses to gay and lesbian couples."
"So you're discriminating against bisexuals!"
"No, it's just that, well, the traditional idea of marriage is that it's just for couples."
"Since when are you standing on tradition?"
"Well, I mean, you have to draw the line somewhere."
"Who says? There's no logical reason to limit marriage to couples. The more the better. Besides, we demand our rights! The mayor says the constitution guarantees equal protection under the law. Give us a marriage license!"
"All right, all right. Next."
"Hello, I'd like a marriage license."
"In what names?"
"And the other man?"
"That's all. I want to marry myself."
"Marry yourself? What do you mean?"
"Well, my psychiatrist says I have a dual personality, so I want to marry the two together. Maybe I can file a joint income-tax return."
"That does it! I quit!! You people are making a mockery of marriage!!"
[received from Judiu, Beaufort, NC and Don, in VA mountains]
>^..^< The next time you’re in a debate, and your opponent starts screaming and ranting and raving that your mere disagreement with his position is your attempt to infringe on his right to freedom of speech, remind him of this simple fact: It’s not free speech if only his side gets its say. ~~ Doc Farmer
>^..^< FOR C&W FANS: I admit it. I'm not one. At least not enough of one to know titles and artists. So these were funny to me.
>^..^< "He has so many fish hooks in his nose, he looks like a piece of bait."- - - Bob Costas (about Dennis Rodman)
Excuse me, Sir."
"Is that you again, Moses?"
"I'm afraid it is, Sir."
"What is it this time, Moses; more computer problems?"
"How did you guess?"
"I don't have to guess, Moses. Remember ?"
"Oh, yes; I forgot."
"Tell me what you want, Moses."
"But you already know, Sir. Remember?"
"Well, go ahead, Moses; spit it out."
"Well, I have a question, Sir. You know those ten 'things' you sent me via e-mail?"
"You mean the Ten Commandments, Moses?"
"That's it. I was wondering if they are important."
"What do you mean 'if they are important,' Moses?
Of course, they are important.
Otherwise, I would not have sent them to you."
"Well, sorry, Sir, but I lost them. I could say the dog ate them; but, of course, you would see right through that."
"What do you mean you 'lost them'? Are you trying to tell me you didn't save them, Moses?"
"No, Sir; I forgot."
"You should always save, Moses."
"Yes, I know. You told me that before. I was going to save them, but I forgot. I did forward them to some people before I lost them though."
"And did you hear back from any of them?"
"You already know I did. There was the one guy who said he never uses 'shalt not.' May he change the words a little bit?"
"Yes, Moses, as long as he does not change the meaning."
"And what about the guy who thought your stance was a little harsh, and recommended calling them the 'Ten Suggestions,' or letting people pick one or two to try for a while?"
"Moses, I will act as if I did not hear that."
"I think that means 'no.' "
"Well, what about the guy who said I was scamming him?"
"I think the term is 'spamming,' Moses."
"Oh, yes. I E-mailed him back and told him I don't even eat that stuff, and I have no idea how you can send it to someone through a computer."
"And what did he say?"
"You know what he said. He used Your name in vain. You don't think he might have sent me one of those -- err -- plagues, and that's the reason I lost those ten 'things', do you?"
"They are not plagues; they are called 'viruses,' Moses."
"Whatever! This computer stuff is just too much for me. Can we go back to those stone tablets? It was hard on my back taking them out and reading them each day, but at least I never lost them."
"We will do it the new way, Moses; using computers!!"
"I was afraid you would say that, Sir."
"Moses, what did I tell you to do if you messed up?"
"You told me to hold up this rat and point it toward the computer."
"It's a mouse, Moses, not a rat. Mouse! Mouse! And did you do that?"
"No, I decided to try calling technical support first. After all, who knows more about this stuff than you? And I really like your hours. By the way, Sir, did Noah have two of these mice on the ark?"
"One other thing. Why did you not name them 'frogs' instead of 'mice,' because did you not tell me the thing they sit on is a pad?"
"I did not name them, Moses. Man did, and you can call yours a frog if you want to."
"Oh, that explains it. I bet some woman told Adam to call it a mouse. After all, was it not a woman who named one of the computers 'Apple?'"
"Say good night, Moses."
"Wait a minute, Sir. I am pointing the mouse, and it seems to be working. Yes, a couple of the ten 'things' have come back."
"Which ones are they, Moses?"
"Let me see.
'Thou shalt not steal from any grave an image' and
'Thou shalt not uncover
Thy neighbor's wife.'"
"Turn the computer off, Moses.
I'm sending you another set of stone tablets."