Musings of the Chronologically Challenged™ Fourth Generation
Thursday, September 09, 2004
>^..^< Happy belated birthday to Boudicca. I forgot my password and could not leave a greeting on her blog!!!
>^..^< Don't forget the Floridians. Those folks are going to be hurting a long time after they're off the news. Please do what you can.
>^..^< Perfection Is a Flaw. Fresh new blog. Fresh new insight into the kind of kids who don't get enough "ink".
>^..^< The Grouchy Old Yorkie Lady is exceptionally grouchy right now.
>^..^< Two things I never thought I'd live to see: McGehee with Blogger's Block and Chuck working his fingers to the bone over something other than hunting and fishing.
>^..^< Dog fight at GOC II. Also a Linkorama.
>^..^< In the midst of demons, an angel makes an appearance.
>^..^< Rivrdog has an interesting suggestion for Mr. Putin.
>^..^< Don't mess with Superman's cape and don't mess with Uncle's pillow. Here's where to LOL.
>^..^< Yellow Dog is showing unnecessary fangs in calling Bush a "kitten killer." That's a low blow, YD. The Dog Days of Summer must have really made their mark on nice doggie.
MAIL BOX OVERFLOWETH - - -
Here's a start --
HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay them.
2 Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is feeling useless.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love, Whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
And if you don't send this to at least 8 people - who cares?
[from Christina, Swansboro, NC]
An senior couple is lying in bed one morning, having just awakened from a good night's sleep. He takes her hand and she responds, "Don't touch me."
"Why not?" he asks.
She answers back, "Because I'm dead."
The husband says, "What are you talking about? We're both lying here in bed together and talking to one another."
She says, "No, I'm definitely dead."
He insists, "You're not dead. What in the world makes you think you're dead?"
"Because I woke up this morning and nothing hurts."
[thanks to Jimmy, Ayden, NC]
An older married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady forty miles per hour. The wife is behind the wheel. Her husband suddenly looks across at her and speaks in a clear voice. "Darling," he says. "I know we've been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce." The wife says nothing, keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly increases her speed to 45 mph.
The husband speaks again. "I don't want you to try and talk me out of it, "he says, "because I've been having an affair with your best friend, and she's a far better lover than you are." Again the wife stays quiet, but grips the steering wheel more tightly and slowly increases the speed to 55.
He pushes his luck. "I want the house," he says insistently.
Up to 60.
"I want the car, too," he continues.
"And," he says, "I'll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards and the boat."
The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete bridge.
This makes him a wee bit nervous, so he asks her: "Isn't there anything you want?"
The wife at last replies - in a quiet and controlled voice.
"No, I've got everything I need." she says.
"Oh, really?" he inquires, "so what have you got?"
Just before they slam into the wall at 75 mph, the wife turns to him and smiles.
[from Christina, Swansboro, NC]
OLD FOOD FOR THOUGHT
"Clearly, a civilization that feels guilty for everything it is and does will lack the energy and conviction to defend itself." --Jean Francois Revel
"There is no nation so poor that it cannot afford free speech, but there are few elites which will put up with the bother of it." --Daniel P. Moynihan
"Experience teaches us to be most on our guard to protect liberty when the government's purpose is beneficent. Men born to freedom are naturally alert to repel invasion of their liberty by evil-minded rulers. The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well-meaning but without understanding." --Supreme Court Justice Brandeis
"One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors." --Plato
"The establishment of an American Soviet government will involve the confiscation of large landed estates in town and country, and also, the whole body of forests, mineral deposits, lakes, rivers and so on." - William Z. Foster, National Chairman of the Communist Party USA, 1932
"The shepherd drives the wolf from the sheep's throat, for which the sheep thanks the shepherd as a liberator, while the wolf denounces him for the same act as the destroyer of liberty." Abraham Lincoln's analogy of liberty
"The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery." -- Winston Churchill
[from Don, somewhere in the mountains of Virginia]
PHILOSOPHY ON HOUSEKEEPING
I don't do windows because... I love birds and don't want one to run into a clean window and get hurt.
I don't wax floors because... I am terrified a guest will slip, hurt themselves. I'll feel terrible and they may sue me.
I don't mind the dust bunnies because... They are very good company, I have named most of them, and they agree with everything I say.
I don't disturb cobwebs because... I want every creature to have a home of their own.
I don't Spring Clean because... I love all the seasons and don't want the others to get jealous.
I don't pull weeds in the garden because... I don't want to get in God's way. He is an excellent designer.
I don't put things away because... My husband will never be able to find them again.
I don't do gourmet meals when I entertain because... I don't want my guests to stress out over what to make when they invite me over for dinner.
I don't iron because... I choose to believe them when they say "Permanent Press".
I don't stress much on anything because... "A" Type personalities die young and I want to stick around and become a wrinkled up crusty old woman!!!!
[from Don, still in the mountains of Virginia]