Musings of the Chronologically Challenged™ Fourth Generation
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
GOOD TUESDAY MORNING
(I missed Monday!)
>^..^< Here's a good start.
>^..^< Kudos and congratulations to Acidman on his new life!! I know he'll understand that this is my idea of a sincere and loving tribute.
FROM THE RECYCLE BIN
The ultimate response to a Dear John letter...you gotta love a man like this.
Humor in the face of defeat. And a fine story like this is much like a fine wine.
A Marine was deployed to Afghanistan. While he was there he received a letter
from his girlfriend. In the letter she explained that she had slept with two guys while he had been gone and she wanted to break up with him. AND, she wanted pictures of herself back.
The Marine did what any squared-away Marine would do. He went around to his buddies
and collected all the unwanted photos of women he could find.
He then mailed about 25 pictures of women (with clothes and without) to his girlfriend with the following note:
"I don't remember which one you are. Please remove your picture and send the rest back."
God Bless America
DOWN AT THE RETIREMENT CENTER
80-year old Bessie bursts into the rec room at the retirement home. She holds her clenched fist in the air and announces, "Anyone who can guess what's in my hand can have sex with me tonight!!" An elderly gentleman in the rear shouts out, "An elephant?" Bessie thinks a minute and says, "Close enough."
from Christina, Swansboro, NC
AMERICAN IN PARIS REDUX
A group of Americans, retired teachers, recently went to France on a tour. Robert Whiting, an elderly gentleman of 83, arrived in Paris by plane. At French Customs, he took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry on bag.
"You have been to France before, monsieur?" the customs officer asked sarcastically.
Mr. Whiting admitted that he had been to France previously.
"Then you should know enough to have your passport ready," snipped the Frenchman.
Mr. Whiting replied, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show my passport."
"Impossible. Americans always have to show your passports on arrival in France!" asserted the officer loud enough to draw attention.
The American senior gave the French customs officer a long hard look. Then he quietly explained: "Well, when I came ashore at Omaha Beach on D-Day in 1944 to help liberate your country, I couldn't find any Frenchmen to show it to."